Raising Arizona (1987)

Sam McMurray: Glen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Glen : How many Polacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?

  H.I. : I don't know, Glen. One?

  Glen : Nope, it takes three.

  [Glen laughs. H.I. doesn't] 

  Glen : Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a lightbulb?

  H.I. : I don't know, Glen.

  Glen : 'Cause they're so darn stupid!

  [Glen laughs again. H.I. doesn't] 

  Glen : Shit, man, loosen up! Don't ya get it?

  H.I. : No, Glen, I sure don't.

  Glen : Shit, man, think about it! I guess it's what they call a "way homer."

  H.I. : Why's that?

  Glen : 'Cause you only get it on the way home.

  H.I. : I'm already home, Glen.

• H.I. : Do you ever get the feeling that there's something... Powerful pressing down on you?

  Glen : Yes, I know that feeling. I told Dot to lose some weight but she don't wanna listen.

• Glen : Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.

  H.I. : Someone oughta sell tickets.

  Glen : Sure, I'd buy one.

• Glen : Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?

• H.I. : Need a beer, Glen?

  Glen : Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

• Glen : Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.

• Glen : That Buford's a sly one. Already knows his ABC's. Hit the deck, boy!

• H.I. : What are you talkin' about, Glen?

  Glen : What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about *sex*, boy. What the hell are you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays open marriage. I'm talkin' about...

  H.I. : [knocks Glen to the ground with a punch]  Keep your goddamn hands off my wife.

  Glen : [runs away]  I was only tryin' the to help!

• Dot : Where's that baby? Where's he at?

  Glen : [Glen smacks Dot on the butt]  Go find him, honey!

  Dot : [Dot smacks Glen with her purse]  Cut it out, Glen!

  H.I. : [quietly]  He's asleep right now.

  Glen : [rubbing his jaw]  Shit! I hope we didn't wake it!

  Dot : Can I just sneak a peek-a-loo?

• Glen : Say, that 'minds me. What are going to name him?

  H.I. : Uh... Ed. Ed, Jr.

  Glen : But I thought you said it was a boy?

  H.I. : As in "Edward." We just like that name!

• Glen : l don't really need another kid, but Dot says these are gettin' too big to cuddle.