Roxanne (1987)
Blanche Rubin: Sophie
Quotes
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[C.D. drops from a tree in front of the ladies]
C.D. Bales : Where am I?
Nina : You're in Nelson.
C.D. Bales : Nelson? Why, I'm home. They brought me home!
[waves to sky]
C.D. Bales : Bye! What day is it?
Nina : Friday. "Dallas" is on.
C.D. Bales : Friday? Then it took no time! It didn't exist in time!
Dottie : What?
C.D. Bales : The spacecraft! I was walking along, and a spacecraft landed right in front of me.
Lydia : I read about this in the Enquirer. Did it have lights on it?
C.D. Bales : Lights? You never saw so many lights! It was like Broadway! Then this door opened. A creature came out, had big suckers on his palms! He walked like this:
[makes pucker sounds]
C.D. Bales : Then he took his palms, put them right on my face. Took me over to Roxanne's house, because they wanted to observe me.
Dottie : At Roxanne's house?
C.D. Bales : That's where they are right now!
Dottie : Ah, this is bullshit. We'll miss "Dallas", come on, girls, let's go.
C.D. Bales : You think I'm nuts, don't you? They wanted to ask me about older women.
Nina : Why?
C.D. Bales : Because they wanted to have sex with them.
Sophie : Where?
C.D. Bales : Here! Right here in Nelson. They wanted to start a colony of supermen who would have sex with older women because they said, and I quote, "they really know what they're doing."
Lydia : We do!
Sophie : It's been so long!
Dottie : Oh, girls, girls! Do you actually believe that there are creatures from outer space who want to have sex with older women?
[pause]
Dottie : Let's go and check it out!
-
C.D. Bales : I've got a two o'clock, and a five o'clock, and the women are just lined up around the block, mostly because of the old saying.
Dixie : What old saying?
C.D. Bales : You know, about the size of a man's nose relating to the size of his...
Dixie : Of his what?
C.D. Bales : Oh, you know.
Dixie : Come on.
C.D. Bales : Hey, Sophie?
Sophie : [turns around at the next table] Yeah?
C.D. Bales : You know that old saying about a man's nose?
Sophie : Oh, you mean how a man's nose relates to the size of his...
[she stops as all the old ladies at the table gasp; they burst into excited chatter]
Sophie : Oh, my God...
C.D. Bales : I love doing that to them.