Casual Sex? (1988)

Andrew Dice Clay: Vinny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [While being measured at the health spa.] 

  Vinny : If you'd like me to provide you with some vital statistics that can't be measured in a public place, I'd be happy to do so.

  Female Attendant : You mean your IQ?

• Vinny : Hey, need a lift?

  Stacy : Vinny! What are you doing here?

  Vinny : I was just driving around the neighborhood. Last night I did something-- Look, it's like this. It's Christmas Day, I'm sitting around my house, right, I'm all alone... so, uh, I hop in the limo... 24 hours later, I wind up in Chicago. And I say to myself, Vincent, where the hell you going? That's when it hits me... I'm coming to see you.

  Stacy : You drove all that way just to see me?

  Vinny : Hey, only 4 days and, what, 18 speeding tickets.

• Vinny : Y'know, I used to have it all figured out. It's like women changed when I had my back turned.

• Melissa : Uh, this is one that the kids at school told me. Why did the chicken go halfway across the street?

  Vinny : Why?

  Melissa : He wanted to lay it on the line. --You're not laughing.

  Vinny : Oh, not yet, not yet. Inside, it's building, it's building. About a half hour from now I'll be rolling all over the beach, I'm telling you. You won't be able to stop me. I'll be in hysterics.

• Stacy : [reading]  "Dear Stacy, I hope you don't mind me writing to you, but the only other letter I ever wrote was to the editor of Flex magazine, and that was just to say how much I enjoyed this particular article called - "

  Vinny : "Hammer Those Gluts 'Til Your Butt's Like a Bowling Ball."

• [After reading the "Pretend You're Sensitive Handbook".] 

  Vinny : Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don't even know where you work.

  Stacy : Where I work?

  Vinny : Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations... I really want to hear all about them.

  Stacy : What I want? I don't even know -- ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I'll figure out your whole entire life.

  Vinny : Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?

  Stacy : Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I'm in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don't figure out something about my life soon, I'm going to crack!

  Vinny : I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you've got a lot of potential!

• Melissa : You know, Matthew's a psychologist. I just love therapy. I think everyone should be in therapy.

  Matthew : That would be good for me. Actually, I'm here to do reseach for a book I'm writing, on the psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.

  Vinny : Yeah, me too.