Seinfeld (1989–1998)
Jerry Stiller: Frank Costanza
Photos
Quotes
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Frank Costanza : Many Christmas' ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer : What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza : It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST-OF-US.
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Frank Costanza : My George isn't clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.
Elaine : You got that right.
Frank Costanza : What the hell does that mean?
Elaine : That means whatever the hell you want it to mean.
Frank Costanza : You saying you want a piece of me?
[hits his chest]
Elaine : I could drop you like a bag of dirt.
Frank Costanza : [yelling] You want a piece of me? You got it!
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Frank Costanza : [yelling] Serenity now. Serenity now.
George Costanza : What is that?
Frank Costanza : Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say: "SERENITY NOW"
George Costanza : Are you supposed to yell it?
Frank Costanza : The man on the tape wasn't specific.
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Frank Costanza : I'm like the Phoenix, rising from Arizona.
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Frank Costanza : Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
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Elaine : You were born in Italy?
Frank Costanza : Yeah, that's why I could never become president. That's also why, from an early age, I never had any interest in politics. I refuse to vote. THEY DON'T WANT ME, I DON'T WANT THEM.
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Frank Costanza : George, festivus is your heritage!
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Frank Costanza : I am not allowing my wife to date a bra salesman.
Estelle Costanza : Hey, he only sells them, he doesn't wear them.
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Frank Costanza : I have been performing feats of strength all morning.
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[about Festivus]
Cosmo Kramer : What do you use for decoration?
Frank Costanza : An aluminum pole. I find tinsel distracting.
