Metropolitan (1989)

Chris Eigeman: Nick Smith

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick Smith : It's a tiny bit arrogant of people to go around worrying about those less fortunate.

• Nick Smith : The most important thing to realize about parents is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about them.

• Nick Smith : Rick Von Slonecker is tall, rich, good looking, stupid, dishonest, conceited, a bully, liar, drunk and thief, an egomaniac, and probably psychotic. In short, highly attractive to women.

• Nick Smith : Playing strip poker with an exhibitionist somehow takes the challenge away.

• Nick Smith : But, unlike you, I've always assumed I'd be a failure anyway. That's why I plan to marry an extremely rich woman.

• Nick Smith : The cha cha is no more ridiculous than life itself.

• Audrey Rouget : [after Tom disappears with Serena]  Tom's not used to places like this. Maybe he went through one of those stairway doors that lock from the inside.

  Nick Smith : He can't get locked in. I used to have to use those doors when people forgot to invite me to their parties.

• Nick Smith : The titled aristocracy are the scum of the earth.

  Sally Fowler : You always say "titled" aristocrats. What about "untitled" aristocrats?

  Nick Smith : Well, I could hardly despise them, could I? That would be self-hatred.

• Nick Smith : You're opposed to these parties on principle.

  Tom Townsend : Yes.

  Nick Smith : Exactly what principle is that?

  Tom Townsend : Well...

  Nick Smith : The principle that one shouldn't be out at night eating hors d'oeuvres when one could be home worrying about the less fortunate.

  Tom Townsend : Pretty much, yes.

  Nick Smith : Has it ever occurred to you that you are the less fortunate?

• Jane Clark : Why should we believe you over Rick? We know you're a hypocrite. We know your "Polly Perkins" story was a fabrication...

  Nick Smith : A composite.

  Jane Clark : Whatever. And, that you're completely impossible and out of control, with some sort of drug problem and a fixation on what you consider Rick Von Sloneker's wickedness. You're a snob, a sexist, totally obnoxious, and tiresome. And lately, you've gotten just weird. Why should we believe anything you say?

  Nick Smith : I'm not tiresome.

• Jane Clark : What are you reading?

  Nick Smith : The story of Babar... I'd forgotten how beautiful it was.

• Nick Smith : You haven't seen this? Detachable collar. Not many people wear them anymore. They look much better. So many things which were better in the past have been abandoned for supposed convenience.

  Tom Townsend : I had no idea anyone wore those anymore.

  Nick Smith : It's a small thing, but symbolically important. Our parents' generation was never interested in keeping up standards. They wanted to be happy, but, of course, the last way to be happy is to make it your objective in life.

  Tom Townsend : I wonder if our generation's any better than our parents'.

  Nick Smith : Oh, it's far worse. Our generation's probably the worst since - the Protestant Reformation. It's barbaric, but a barbarism even worse than the old-fashioned, straightforward kind. Now barbarism is cloaked with all sorts of self-righteousness and moral superiority. Will you look at this?

  Tom Townsend : You're obviously talking about a lot more than just detachable collars.

  Nick Smith : Yeah, I am.

• Nick Smith : Jane's father's dead. Very suddenly, last year.

  Tom Townsend : Must have been awful for her.

  Nick Smith : Yes. It was tough on him too.

• Nick Smith : I guess you could say it's extremely vulgar, I like it a lot.

• Nick Smith : Driver! Follow that pedestrian!

• Charlie Black : The term 'bourgeois' has almost always been - been one of contempt. Yet it is precisely the - the bourgeoisie which is responsible for - well, for nearly everything good that has happened in our civilization over the past four centuries. You know the French film, "The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie"? When I first heard that title I thought, "Finally, someone's gonna tell the truth about the bourgeoisie." What a disappointment. It would be hard to imagine a less fair or accurate portrait.

  Sally Fowler : Well, of course. Buñuel's a surrealist. Despising the bourgeoisie is part of their credo.

  Nick Smith : Where do they get off?

  Charlie Black : But the truth is, the bourgeoisie does have a lot of charm.

  Nick Smith : Of course it does. The surrealists were just a lot of social climbers.

• Nick Smith : Dawn in the big city. There are eight million stories out there.

• Charlie Black : I don't see how you can stand him. You're always complaining about people being frauds and phoneys. This guy is the phoney of the decade, yet you act as he were your long-lost best friend.

  Nick Smith : Tom's hardly a phoney. Just mildly deluded. He's a perfectly nice guy.

  Charlie Black : That's just another aspect of his phoniness. He's a terrible phoney, and when he's not being a phoney, he's a bastard.

  Nick Smith : Oh, come on.

  Charlie Black : You saw how he treated Audrey last night.

  Nick Smith : Well, Audrey seems to have forgotten it.

  Charlie Black : She has to act that way. Otherwise it would be even more humiliating. But I don't have to pretend Tom Townsend is a nice guy.

  Nick Smith : You're really gaga about Audrey, aren't you?

  Charlie Black : If by "gaga" you mean, do I like her? Yes, I do.

  Nick Smith : Well, why don't you do something about it, instead of just going on and on about what a bastard Tom Townsend is.

  Charlie Black : What do I do? Declare myself? That would be an absolute disaster. I don't think I haven't thought about these things. But I think if the situation could just continue as it has been, they gradually, over time, it'd grow into something more. That, at least, is what I've been hoping for.

• Cynthia McLean : You see the world from such lofty heights that everything below is a bit comical to you, isn't it?

  Nick Smith : Yes.

• Nick Smith : What a mystery. Rick Von Sloneker and Serena Slocum, still together. Seems like months.

  Sally Fowler : It has been months.

  Nick Smith : Well, one thing's for certain - she's lost her virginity by now.

  Jane Clark : How can you say that?

  Nick Smith : You're right. Maybe she wasn't a virgin.

• Nick Smith : I'm not sure if you realize this, but these girls are at a very vulnerable point in their lives. All of this is much more emotional and difficult for them than it is for us. They're on display. They have to call the guys up and invite them as escorts. And preppy girls mature socially much later than others do.

• Tom Townsend : I'm not planning to go to any more dances.

  Nick Smith : You weren't? Well, I strongly advise you to change your mind. Is it that your resources are limited? This is about the only economical social life you're gonna find in New York. Music, drinks, entertainment, hot, nutritious meals all at no expense to you. Basically, all you need is one suit of evening clothes and a tailcoat. Dances are either white tie or black tie, so you only need two ties.

• Nick Smith : It's incredible, the eagerness of girls like you to justify the worst bastards imaginable... as being sensitive and shy. But if any guy who really was shy dared talk to you... you wouldn't give him the time of day - your eyes would glaze over.

  Cynthia McLean : You're really hung up on Rick, aren't you? He must really threaten you somehow.

  Nick Smith : You're right. I do feel threatened - that I may get a venereal disease from one of the St. Tim's girls he's been with.

  [Cynthia slaps Nick] 

  Nick Smith : Did you learn that from your lovemaking with Rick? I hear it can get really rough.

  [another slap] 

  Nick Smith : Don't do that again. For me, it isn't erotic.

• Nick Smith : There is no Polly Perkins.

  Tom Townsend : What?

  Nick Smith : There's no girl. I made it up.

  Tom Townsend : You're kidding!

  Nick Smith : I couldn't let Cynthia get away with that nonsense about Von Sloneker. And basically it's all true. I mean, Von Sloneker's doing those kinds of things all the time. Though Polly Perkins is, essentially, a composite... based on real people, like New York magazine does.

  Tom Townsend : But Cynthia said she knew all about her.

  Nick Smith : Yeah. That was priceless. I think it just shows that Von Sloneker's doing those sorts of things.

  Tom Townsend : But you really do have some factual basis for saying all those things about him?

  Nick Smith : Of course, there's a factual basis.

• Charlie Black : I think that - that - that we are all, in a sense, doomed.

  Nick Smith : What are you talking about?

  Charlie Black : Downward social mobility. We hear a lot about the great social mobility in America with the focus usually on the comparative ease of moving upwards. What's less discussed is how easy it is to - to go down. I think that's the - the direction that we're all heading in. And I think that the downward fall is gonna be very fast. Not just for us as individuals, but the whole preppy class.

• Charlie Black : Well, I don't think "preppy" is a very useful term. I mean, it might be descriptive for someone who is still in school or college; but, it's ridiculous to refer to a man in his 70s, like Averell Harriman, as a "preppy". And none of the other terms people use - WASP, P.L.U., et cetera - are of much use either. And that's why I prefer the term "U.H.B."

  Nick Smith : What?

  Charlie Black : U.H.B. It's an acronym for Urban Haute Bourgeoisie.

  Cynthia McLean : Is our language so impoverished that we have to use acronyms or French phrases to make ourselves understood?

• Tom Townsend : I couldn't believe you're actually going to play bridge, such a cliché of bourgeois life.

  Nick Smith : That's exactly why I play. I don't enjoy it one bit.

• Nick Smith : Riffraff.

  Sally Fowler : He's hardly that.

  Nick Smith : Oh, you mean because of his title. We're supposed to be impressed by that. On the contrary, I think the titled aristocracy are the scum of the Earth.

• Nick Smith : Even within this group, there are certain standards. Apparently, I failed to live up to them.

• Nick Smith : These Texas and Oklahoma debs are really nice - a real relief from these hypercritical New York girls.

• Nick Smith : Polly was a bit of a masochist and prone to drink too much. Von Sloneker exploited this to get her drunk and had her - do you know what "pulling a train" means?

  Audrey Rouget : I don't think so.

• Nick Smith : Jane? Are you familiar with Dr. Pomeroy's work?

  Jane Clark : Who?

  Nick Smith : "Girls And Sex" by Wardell B. Pomeroy. "The long-needed modern guide to the understanding of girls growing up." Quote: "The most frank and objective book currently available.' Library Journal."

  Jane Clark : Oh, that.

  Nick Smith : "The years of puberty and early womanhood are difficult, even frightening, for many girls. This is the time they most need objective, factual information and sympathetic advice about their physical and emotional changes."

• Cynthia McLean : Rick really threatens you somehow.

  Nick Smith : How does he threaten me?

  Cynthia McLean : Maybe by being more of a man than you are.

  Nick Smith : Oh, you stupid slut.