- Robin Harris: Your mama's so old, she was there the first day of slavery.
- Dorothea: Your mama's so old, she older than your grandmama.
- Robin Harris: Your mama's so fat, she own both sides of the family.
- Dorothea: That's okay. Your mama's so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- Robin Harris: Your mama's so dumb, they told her it was chilly outside, she went inside and got a bowl.
- Robin Harris: Come on, baby. Let's get out of here.
- Jamika: I think it's time to flush and leave.
- Dorothea: You can have him. I don't have a problem getting a man.
- Jamika: Well, girlfriend. Here's some lotion for your ashy ankles. That'll make it even easier.
- Dorothea: That's okay. Your mama's so country, she got an elevator, thought it was a mobile home.
- Vivian: You know what that was all about, right? He still loves you.
- Robin Harris: I thought the devil was through when he made Rosemary's Baby, but oh no! Oh no! Now we got, Bebe's Kids!
- Ticketlady: Please familiarize and observe the rules while in Fun World. No running, no jumping, no yelling, no cutting in line, no grumbling, no stealing. That means you. No breaking things and putting them back like nothing happened. No sad faces, bad attitudes, introspective moments, irritation at the mindless happiness of the masses, and no littering. Is that clear? Enjoy your stay.
- Robin Harris: [Upon seeing Jamika for the first time] She looked so good, she made a brother wanna get a job with benefits!
- Robin Harris: If you don't tell me where your little brother is, I'm gonna beat the black off you, and you're gonna look lighter than Michael Jackson.
- Robin Harris: [to Leon] Oh, and one other thing. If you get into a fight, don't fight fair. Get a brick and knock the hell out of them kids
- Jamika: Robin, I heard you.
- Robin Harris: I ain't never been glad to see the cops before. But I was sure happy then. Happier than a runaway slave, papers and all.
- Jamika: Those kids don't stand a chance in that neighborhood.
- Robin Harris: No, I don't think that neighborhood stands a chance against them kids.
- President Lincoln: Each of you must ask yourself: Are we petty, vengeful humans, or logical, moral machines? Then pass judgment.
- Jamika: And this is little Pee-Wee.
- Pee Wee: Pee-Wee, O.G.!
- Robin Harris: O.G.? I'll slap my F-O-O-T in your B-U-T.
- Robin Harris: Now Jamika, I don't mean to get in your business. But maybe you should sign your son up for some karate classes. Boy kinda soft!