Homicide: Life on the Street (1993–1999)

Kyle Secor: Detective Tim Bayliss

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Quotes 

• Det. Tim Bayliss : You never say please. You never say thank you.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : Please don't be an idiot. Thank you.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : You still believe that my cousin killed that boy because he was an Arab?

  Det. Frank Pembleton : Hikmet was not an Arab. Turks are not Arabs...

  Det. Tim Bayliss : My cousin could not consciously kill someone.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : I don't think it was premeditated. I think it was inherent. Jim's racism is so much a part of him, that he didn't have a chance to think about what he was doing. Jim is worse than a Klansman. 'Cause at least in their white sheets, they are recognizable. Your cousin's brand of bigotry is much more frightening because, like still water, it runs deep. He doesn't even see it himself.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : You're wrong, dead wrong.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : The only one "dead wrong" is Hikmet Gersel. Did you see what happened when the verdict was announced? They applauded. Those law-abiding citizens, those good people applauded the death of a child. Let me ask you something, Tim - and then you tell me whether or not it was racially motivated - if that boy had been American, if that boy had been white - do you think anyone would have cheered?

• Det. John Munch : [looking at corpse]  With those beady eye and that mustache he looks like a cross between Steve Buscemi, John Waters and Edgar Allen Poe.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Aren't they all the same person?

• Det. Tim Bayliss : So does the violence make them stupid or does the stupidity lead to violence?

  Det. John Munch : Well, that's chicken and egg semantics. The important point is that we win some cases because our brains are repositories for intelligence and their brains are day-old banana pudding.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : I can't stop seeing her face. Adena Watson's face in the rain. Wounds on her body. She was so tiny. I try not to care, but if I do that, if I actually stop caring, then I stop being who I am. No job's worth that.

• Det. Frank Pembleton : Do you think some people work harder to be stupider than others?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : Homicide, sweet homicide.

• Det. Mike Kellerman : I just want you to know that I'm here for you. And if you want a hug, I'd be happy to give you one.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : A hug?

  Det. Mike Kellerman : Yeah.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Do you and Lewis hug?

  Det. Mike Kellerman : Yeah.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : A lot?

  Det. Mike Kellerman : No, not a lot.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : But enough.

  Det. Mike Kellerman : What do you mean?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?

  Det. Mike Kellerman : Forget I brought this all up.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : No, no, no, no. *You* brought up the hugging thing.

• Det. Mike Kellerman : You sure you want me with you?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Yeah, sure, why not?

  Det. Mike Kellerman : I don't know, uh, last time we worked together you were kind of snarky.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Snarky?

  Det. Mike Kellerman : Yeah, snarky, you know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butt head.

• Det. John Munch : [Bayliss is taking some pills for his back pain]  What d'ya got there, Timmy? Some good stuff, huh? Percodan, Percocet, Tylenol, greenies?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : They're muscle relaxants!

  Det. John Munch : Even better.

  Det. Tim Bayliss : You don't get any!

  Det. John Munch : No-one's willing to share their drugs anymore.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : [upon learning that having Crosetti's favourite pastries at his funeral would cost $200]  That silly man and his silly cookies.

• Det. Frank Pembleton : You're not Catholic and you took communion?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Yeah, is that wrong?

  Det. Frank Pembleton : If my God wins... You're screwed.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : I'm a detective, Frank. I'm a keen observer of the human condition. I pick up on the subtlest clues, I react to the slightest suggestion. In short, I deduct.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : Who told you?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Brodie.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : Fourteen years old... When I was fourteen, jeez, I was in the ninth grade, and I don't remember much of what I was doing, but I know I was nowhere close to picking up a gun and shooting another kid.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : How old should our shooter be?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : Not fourteen.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : So if he's what, fifteen, sixteen years old, it makes any more sense?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : No.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : How old should he be then? What's the cut off age? Seventeen? Eighteen?

  Det. Tim Bayliss : I don't know, but not fourteen.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : When you find out, clue me in, awright? I'd like to know when any of this killing, at any age, from six to sixty, makes any sense. One time I want to hear about a murder that makes sense. Just one time. For any reason.

• Det. John Munch : But what if they make me take a test? I can't take tests. I always clutch. What if I take it and fail and all our dreams come crashing down?

  Det Tim Bayliss : Well, then it's simple. Meldrick and I will harm you.

• Det. Tim Bayliss : What I have is, I have a second in time. I have a split second in an abandoned building with a gun in my hand and every instinct is telling me who I am at that moment. That's what I got left and that's all I got left... and I'm a homicide cop.

• Det. Frank Pembleton : You said summer was hell.

  Det.Tim Bayliss : Well... it was.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : It's all mind over matter, Bayliss.

  Det.Tim Bayliss : No, no, it's more than mind over matter. I know my mind and my mind remembers my ass melting into the tops of my shoes, all right? Summer was hell.

  Det. Frank Pembleton : There's no humidity in hell.

  Det.Tim Bayliss : What, you do a field report?

  Det. Frank Pembleton : By all reliable accounts, there's not a single drop of water to pass between heaven and hell. Hell is a dry heat.

  Det.Tim Bayliss : Oh. Well, book me a flight.