Dennis the Menace (1993)

Kellen Hathaway: Joey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Margaret : You know why men are so lousey when it comes to taking care of babies?

  Dennis : They have better things to do.

  Margaret : Like what? Play golf and drink beer?

  Dennis : No, like hunting, having wars, driving cars, shaving, cleaning fish. Do you know how to do that?

  Joey : Me?

  Dennis : Margaret.

  Joey : Oh, okay.

  Margaret : If you didn't have women, you wouldn't have babies, which means you wouldn't have people.

  Joey : And if you didn't have men, who'd drive the ladies to the hospital?

• Margaret : This things been here our whole life and we never knew it.

  Joey : Do you think anybody lived in it?

  Dennis : Just squirrels and birds.

  Joey : It looks kind of junky.

  Dennis : We'll fix it up.

  Margaret : Oh, good, I'll be the decorator. We'll put on a special room for the babies and a powder room for when we have company.

  Dennis : Forts don't have powder rooms.

  Margaret : Oh, really? Where do the soldiers' wives go to freshen up?

  Joey : Soldiers don't have wives, stupid.

  Margaret : Don't call me stupid, baby rump kisser!

• Margaret : [about her doll being stolen by Switchblade Sam]  You guys don't understand! Baby Louise is a very expensive antique!

  Dennis : Nobody robbed your doll, Margaret. Maybe a bear ate it.

  Margaret : What?

  Joey : Yeah, there's no robbers in our town.

• Margaret : You guys are the boring ones. There's lots to do.

  Dennis : Oh, really? Like what?

  Margaret : We could practice singing songs or put on a play or a puppet show.

  Joey : We could bury you alive.

  Margaret : I could pound your face.

• Dennis : The most important thing is they marry the women, then the women can go down and get the baby.

  Margaret : The baby is in her stomach.

  Dennis : She has to get it installed. Her stomach isn't just filled up with babies.

  Margaret : Who installed some?

  Dennis : A minister and a doctor.

  Margaret : How?

  Dennis : 'How'?

  Joey : [laughs]  She wants to know how?

  [Joey continues laughing but stops as Margaret furiosuly glares at him] 

  Margaret : Tell me, Dennis. How?

  Dennis : The bellybutton-it opens up.

  Margaret : How come men have them?

  Dennis : So they don't look weird in bathing suits.

  [Margaret goes disapproved]