Double, Double Toil and Trouble (1993 TV Movie)
Phil Fondacaro: Oscar
Photos
Quotes
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Aunt Agatha : [Mr. N holds the moonstone with his claws] Remember before you offered to give me back the moonstone for $50,000? Well, it's a deal! I'll turn you back and give you the money.
Oscar : I knew it! I knew he couldn't be trusted!
Mr. N : It was a mistake, all right. No deal! I'm ashamed of myself for even thinking about betraying Lynn and Kelly, and sticking up for them is more important than money.
Aunt Agatha : [Shocked] You're turning me down?
Mr. N : Right!
Aunt Agatha : ...Even if it means being a crow for the rest of your life?
Mr. N : Even if it means being a crow for the rest of my life!
Aunt Agatha : Go get your shotgun, George. We're going crow-hunting!
Mr. N : Hunt this, ugly!
[flies out the window]
Aunt Agatha : Ahh!
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Mr. N : [Lynn makes a last stand towards Aunt Agatha] Be careful, Lynn.
Aunt Agatha : You're wearing my moonstone. Give it to me. I'll turn you into a snail.
Lynn Farmer : Not! You can't hurt me as long as I'm wearing the moonstone
Aunt Agatha : Sofia's been blabbing, has she? Look, dear, you and I don't have to be enemies huh? Do we?
Lynn Farmer : No, we don't. If you let Kelly go, and Aunt Sofia...
Aunt Agatha : Wait wait wait wait. I have a better idea. I know you're different from your sister. You're... You're special.
Lynn Farmer : What do you mean?
Aunt Agatha : Well, I mean you're tired of being a twin, aren't you?
Lynn Farmer : Yeah. But...
Aunt Agatha : Oh. I know what that's like, dear, having to share everything, or having people get you all mixed up together.
Lynn Farmer : Well...
Aunt Agatha : You and I could possess the moonstone together.
Lynn Farmer : [Looks over to Kelly, who's currently being held by George] But what about Kelly?
Aunt Agatha : Oh, all she does is get in the way. We'll put her with Aunt Sofia on the other side of the mirror. And then you won't be a twin anymore, think of it! Ha ha ha!
Lynn Farmer : [Thinks for 10 seconds] No!
Oscar : That's telling her!
Gravedigger : Yeah!
Aunt Agatha : I tried to be nice!
Kelly Farmer : That'll be the day.
Aunt Agatha : [to Kelly] Quiet!
[George covers Kelly's mouth with his hand]
Aunt Agatha : George, didn't I try to be nice?
[George nods]
Aunt Agatha : But no more Mr. Nice Guy! I can't cast a spell on you. But your sister isn't wearing the moonstone.
Lynn Farmer : Don't turn her into anything! Don't hurt her!
Aunt Agatha : I'll offer you a straight exchange.
[Kelly bites George's hand]
Aunt Agatha : If you give me the moonstone, I'll let both of you go.
Kelly Farmer : [George struggles to keep Kelly quiet] Don't do it, Lynn! She's a liar!
Aunt Agatha : It's your choice, Lynn! George, bring Kelly closer so I can start saying a spell.
Lynn Farmer : No! I'll do it. But you have to promise to let everyone go.
Mr. N : Me too!
Lynn Farmer : And turn Mr. N back into a person.
Aunt Agatha : All right. I promise.
Lynn Farmer : Cross your heart.
Aunt Agatha : Cross my heart.
Lynn Farmer : Hope to die.
Aunt Agatha : Hope to die.
Lynn Farmer : Stick a needle in your eye,
[Shakes]
Lynn Farmer : Shake your bottom if you got 'em.
Aunt Agatha : Stick a needle in your bottom... Oh, just hand it over!
Lynn Farmer : First let Kelly go.
Aunt Agatha : First hand it over.
Lynn Farmer : You go first.
Aunt Agatha : You go first.
Lynn Farmer : You go first.
Aunt Agatha : You go first. Oh, for goodness sake! Just put the moonstone down here on the floor! George, when the moonstone is on the floor, let that Kelly girl go. And then I'll turn back Mr. N and then we'll call it a night.
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Oscar : [Hiding from Aunt Agatha and her mob] I got it. Who wants to take care of it?
Mr. N : Well, why don't I take it?
Oscar : Why you?
Mr. N : I'm the biggest.
Oscar : I don't think so. How will we know you're not gonna run off with it?
Mr. N : Oscar, no trust. That is what is wrong with the world today. Anyway, how do we know that YOU won't run off with it?
Lynn Farmer : Will you two cut it out? They're coming. I'll take it.
Kelly Farmer : What will we do?
Oscar : I think we should split up.
Lynn Farmer : No, we should stay together.
Oscar : It's our only chance we have of getting away. Lynn and I will go this way, you two go that way.
Mr. N : Oh, sure. You go with the twin that has the moonstone.
Aunt Agatha : [Off-screen] Over this way! By the cars!
Oscar : Once we've lost them, we'll all meet up again at the Oscarmobile, OK? Come on!
Lynn Farmer : Good luck, Kelly!
Kelly Farmer : Good luck, Lynn!
[They hug each other]
Mr. N : Touching, but could we get a move on? Go!
[the twins separate, look at each other, and salute each other for good luck]
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Lynn Farmer : [Lynn, Oscar, and Gravedigger try to enter Agatha's mansion] I guess since she's my aunt, I should go first?
Gravedigger : Yeah.
Lynn Farmer : [Lynn walks to the door as Oscar and Gravedigger wait. She tries unsuccessfully to turn the knob] It's locked.
Oscar : Let's go around back.
Gravedigger : Let's go bowling.
[Oscar threatens Gravedigger]
Gravedigger : OK,OK.
[They go around back]
Oscar : [Oscar tries to open the door] It's locked. She may be mean, but she ain't stupid.
Lynn Farmer : We can't give up.
Oscar : I have an idea, come on.
[They run far away from the mansion to get a better look]
Oscar : I think there's only one way to get in.
Lynn Farmer : You mean that window up there that's open?
Oscar : You got it!
Gravedigger : Yeah, but how do we get up there?
Oscar : To the Oscarmobile, quick!
[Lynn and Oscar run while Gravedigger falls behind]
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[Running from Aunt Agatha and the gatherers]
Lynn Farmer : I hate this!
Kelly Farmer : You were the one that didn't want to tell Mom and Dad!
Aunt Agatha : Seize those twins!
Oscar : Hurry! They're right behind us!
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Mr. N : [as a crow] Look here! Whoa!
Oscar : It's one of Agatha's minions!
Mr. N : Chill man. It's me. This is not a trick.
Lynn Farmer : [Shocked] Mr. N?
Mr. N : Yeah! Can you get to this? I've been dissed big time!
Lynn Farmer : What happened? Did Aunt Agatha do this to you?
Mr. N : Yeah. Even without the moonstone, that old witch has got a whole mess of magic. Talk about sick. I'm hungry, anybody got a worm?
Lynn Farmer : Where's Kelly? Did she get away?
Mr. N : No. They grabbed her and they're taking her back to Agatha's house. But they're going to be delayed a little. Hee ha hee hee.
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Lynn Farmer : [Finding out that Kelly's been captured] They caught her! I don't want them to hurt her! She's my sister!
Oscar : Now, now...
Lynn Farmer : [Nearly in tears] Oscar, I haven't been very nice to Kelly lately. We've never been apart. I bet she's scared and I'm not there to tell her it's OK.
Oscar : Come on, we got to be brave.
Lynn Farmer : I know. But we don't know how to get to Aunt Agatha's. We can't free Aunt Sofia and we can't help Kelly.
Oscar : You just can't give up.
Mr. N : That's right.
Oscar : Look.
[shows Lynn a clock on a billboard]
Oscar : We still have a half-hour until midnight.
Lynn Farmer : That's it! Mr. Gravedigger! He'll know how to get there!
Oscar : Yeah, but where is he?
Lynn Farmer : He says he lived where the sun always shines and it never gets dark!
Mr. N : I can fly to Vegas, place a few bets, catch Siegfried and Roy.
Oscar : You mean the Gravedigger lives in Las Vegas?
Lynn Farmer : [Points to the billboard] No. I think he lives right there!
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Oscar : [after getting turned into turtles] After her, hurry!
Gravedigger : Which way is South?
Oscar : Where you going?
Gravedigger : I want to go home.
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Aunt Agatha : [Aunt Agatha double-crosses Lynn] The little sucker actually believed me. Hee hee hee hee!
Lynn Farmer : But you crossed your heart!
Aunt Agatha : But that doesn't count. I don't have a heart. Hee hee hee hee hee hee!
Mr. N : But I do!
[Flies down]
Mr. N : [Kelly escapes from George]
Lynn Farmer : Kelly, quick! Up the stairs!
Mr. N : [Grabs the moonstone] Moonstone, coming up!
Lynn Farmer : Oh!
Oscar : Good job!
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Oscar : [On the way to the witches' gathering] Come on, hurry with your makeup.
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Lynn Farmer : [Explaining their agenda to rescue Aunt Sofia] And so, we have to break the magic spell by midnight.
Oscar : This could be a fantastic adventure! Not without risk, of course. But what great adventure isn't? We have no time to lose.
Mr. N : [Outside Oscar's window] Ladies, I find parts of that story rather hard to believe
Oscar : [Looks up at Mr.N , somewhat agreeing. Turns to the twins] The problem is that as people get bigger, their imaginations get smaller.
Kelly Farmer : You mean you'll take us to the gathering?
Oscar : Of course I will! But we have to be prepared.
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Mr. N : [Oscar successfully gets on the roof] Caw! Good flying!
Oscar : [Looks down] I'll unlock the side door!
Gravedigger : Okay.
[Lynn and Gravedigger run for the side door]
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Gravedigger : Not in the dark. No, sir. Not on Halloween. No sir. Not so close to midnight!
Lynn Farmer : But you have to take us there!
Gravedigger : There's no telling what terrible things might happen if you try to break that spell. Oh no, I'm staying right here where it's nice and bright!
[Folds his arms]
Lynn Farmer : Oscar,
[Gets up off the table]
Lynn Farmer : Why don't you stay here for a minute?
Oscar : I don't think you should go outside...
[Lynn elbows Oscar]
Oscar : Ow. OK... good idea.
[She walks out]
Oscar : [to Gravedigger] Look, Mr. Gravedigger, you have to help us and fast. You told the girls the spell has to be broken by midnight.
Gravedigger : Did I say that? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, you could do it anytime, anytime at all. I'd wait til next summer if I were you.
[Lynn turns the lights off, causing Gravedigger to get scared]
Gravedigger : Ahh! This never happened before! I... I don't like the dark.
Lynn Farmer : [Reappears] Gee, the lights went out.
Gravedigger : Yeah.
Lynn Farmer : Well, I guess it's time to go and leave Mr. Gravedigger...
[Pats him on the shoulder]
Lynn Farmer : all alone in the dark.
Gravedigger : [Grabs Lynn] Oh, no, no, no, no, don't go. Don't go, I don't like to be alone in the dark.
[Lets go of her]
Lynn Farmer : If you like, we'll keep you company.
Gravedigger : [Relieved] Oh! Oh, thank you.
Lynn Farmer : On the way to Aunt Agatha's.
[Lynn and Oscar exit. With no other options, Gravedigger grabs his jacket and follows them]
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[Arriving at the witches' gathering]
Oscar : This is the place.
[He parks the Oscarmobile]
Oscar : Come on!
Lynn Farmer : [Passes the wand to Kelly] Your turn.
Oscar : Come on!
Kelly Farmer : How are we going to get past this guy?
Oscar : Just let me do all the talking.
Doorman : Invitations, please.
Oscar : Uh, this are my covenant.
[the doorman blankly stares]
Oscar : I had our invitation, but my black cat ate it.
Kelly Farmer : [Raises the wand] You have a problem with that?
[the magic starts to take control of the doorman]
Doorman : No.
[Allows the group to enter]
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Aunt Agatha : My colleagues, gatherers, comrades... Count?
[a man solutes to Agatha]
Aunt Agatha : Um, before I begin our convolution and the cry of curses, let me first mention an emergency that I see as a juicy challenge for the entire group, one I think you will enjoy helping me to solve. Seven years ago, I cast a powerful spell, a spell that banished my sweet, namby-pamby twin sister to a life of lonely isolation on the other side of a mirror.
[the crowd applause]
Aunt Agatha : Naughty me.
Witch #3 : She's good. She is very good.
Mr. N : Oscar, let's go. I have an idea.
Aunt Agatha : Tonight at midnight, the spell becomes permanent.
Oscar : Come on. Follow me.
[They leave]
Aunt Agatha : But, there are those who would interfere with my spell, who seek to undo all my bad work. The ones who resist me are very young.
Witch #2 : Kids these days have no respect.
Witch #3 : Children are sick!
Aunt Agatha : The ones that resist me are sisters, a set of twins. And why have I asked you to help me?
Witch #2 : [Along with the rest of the crowd] Why? Why?
Kelly Farmer : Why?
Aunt Agatha : Because the twins are here, among us!
Lynn Farmer : I'd like to get my hands on those twins.
Kelly Farmer : Those little BRATS!
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Oscar : [to Mr. N sarcastically] You're a lot of help.
