Double, Double Toil and Trouble (1993 TV Movie)

Kelli Fox: Christine Farmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• [while trick-or-treating] 

  Christine Farmer : The kids don't seem to be as upset today as they were last night.

  Don Farmer : They're little kids, they live in the moment.

  Christine Farmer : That sounds good. What do you say we forget our troubles too, and just enjoy Halloween.

  Don Farmer : Mrs. Farmer, you got yourself a deal.

  [They kiss, leaving them distracted enough for the twins to get ready for their adventure] 

• Don Farmer : [Don, Christine and Norman rush upstairs to find Lynn and Kelly]  Lynn? Kelly?

  Christine Farmer : Are you here?

  Don Farmer : Up in the attic.

  Christine Farmer : Oh, please!

  Kelly Farmer : [Norman runs up and pushes Kelly]  Ahh!

  [She falls back and knocks the mirror over, it shatters] 

  Don Farmer : [Grabs Kelly]  Are you all right?

  Kelly Farmer : Yes, I'm all right.

  Christine Farmer : We were so worried!

• Christine Farmer : Aunt Agatha, I'm going to be honest with you. Don's construction business isn't going very well.

  Don Farmer : Well...

  Christine Farmer : [Cuts him off]  He's very good at what he does.

  Aunt Agatha : I'll bet.

  Christine Farmer : But, with the recession, a lot of people haven't been able to pay him what they owe.

  Aunt Agatha : [Turns to Christine and Don]  So?

  Christine Farmer : So, we need your help. The bank is threatening to foreclose on our house.

  Don Farmer : Look, we're just asking for a loan, not a gift. Just until I pay the money...

  Aunt Agatha : I knew it! I knew you had a selfish reason for you to come crawling around here!

  [Walks over and gets in Don's face] 

  Aunt Agatha : Oh! It's take, take, take!

  Don Farmer : [Tries to get up]  Now...

  Christine Farmer : [Sits Don back down]  That's not fair!

  [a long pause] 

  Christine Farmer : All we have ever gotten from you in the last seven years is rejection and abuse!

  Aunt Agatha : If you think that's rejection and abuse, you ain't seen nothing yet!

  George : I took the liberty of preparing some tea.

  Aunt Agatha : Drop it!

  [George drops the tray, glass breaks] 

  Aunt Agatha : Now take the liberty of showing these beggars to the door. They're out of here.

  Aunt Agatha : [Agatha's cat screeches loudly]  Aah! My cat!

  [Pulls Christine from behind and throws her to Don, he catches her] 

  Aunt Agatha : My cat! Aah!

  [Agatha runs outside, Christine and Don follow. George grabs the tray and walks outside a few seconds later] 

• Aunt Agatha : [Aunt Agatha is shocked to see Lynn and Kelly as twins]  You never said you had twins.

  Christine Farmer : When did you ever give us the chance?

  Aunt Agatha : Get off my street right now!

  Lynn Farmer : [the twins run to the car]  Come on, Norman!

  Don Farmer : Don't you yell at my daughters!

  Aunt Agatha : [Turns to face Don]  Get out now! And take that mutt and those brats of yours with you! I'm warning you...

  Don Farmer : ...Gladly. Girls, we're going!

• Lynn Farmer : Mom, when I'm older can I get a nose job?

  Don Farmer : What?

  Christine Farmer : What's wrong with your nose?

  Lynn Farmer : Nothing. But then we just won't look like twins anymore. Then again, can Kelly have a nose job?

  Kelly Farmer : I don't want a nose job.

  Christine Farmer : [Relieved]  Good

  Kelly Farmer : I want a tattoo.

  Don Farmer : What?

  Christine Farmer : Being twins is a wonderful thing. It's very special.

  Lynn Farmer : Mom, is there a curse on that house?

  Don Farmer : There's certainly a curse in that house.

  Christine Farmer : Don! Why do you ask that, sweetheart?

  Lynn Farmer : Because the gravedigger said so.

  Christine Farmer : Gravediggers and curses? Girls, Halloween isn't until tomorrow night.

  Kelly Farmer : Is Aunt Agatha really a witch?

  Don Farmer : Oh, you bet she is.

  Lynn Farmer , Kelly Farmer : [Together]  She is a witch.

• Aunt Agatha : [Don and Christine enter the living room]  Yes?

  Christine Farmer : Aunt Agatha. It's Christine... your niece.

  Aunt Agatha : I know who you are. What do you want?

  Christine Farmer : Could we talk to you for just a minute?

  Aunt Agatha : If you must.

• Don Farmer : Where are the girls? Have they fallen behind?

  [Whistles] 

  Don Farmer : Ladies!

  [the twins' replacements come from behind the bushes] 

  Christine Farmer : There they are. Come on.

• Lynn Farmer : Are we going to go home now and make our costumes?

  Christine Farmer : Well, we're gonna make a short stop on the way home first, just to see somebody.

  Lynn Farmer : Okay, just so we don't have to wear the same costumes. That is so dorky. I don't want to look like Kelly.

  Kelly Farmer : And I don't want to look like you, either.

  Don Farmer : Kelly, Lynn. Well, here we are.

  [They park in front of the mansion] 

  Kelly Farmer : Ooh! What a great house!

  Lynn Farmer : Who lives there?

  Christine Farmer : My Aunt Agatha.

  Kelly Farmer : You have an aunt that lives in a house like that? You never told us about her.

  Don Farmer : Well, sweet-pea, she's not exactly what you'd call a close relative.

  Kelly Farmer : Is there anything we can do to change that?

  Christine Farmer : I think you two better wait in the car with Norman. We won't be long.

  Kelly Farmer : How come we can't come?

  Christine Farmer : Well, she doesn't like children.

  Lynn Farmer , Kelly Farmer : [Together]  She doesn't like children?

  Don Farmer : [Whispering to the twins]  She doesn't like anybody. Come on, let's get this over with.

  Christine Farmer : Now, you two be good.

  [Lynn climbs over to the driver's seat, pretending to drive] 

• Aunt Agatha : Sit down. Over there.

  [Don and Christine sit down] 

  Christine Farmer : I knew that if I'd called, you wouldn't have wanted us to come.

  Aunt Agatha : You're right. Why did you?

  Christine Farmer : Well, it's been seven years since I've actually seen you. Ever since Aunt Sofia left.

  [Grabs a picture frame that shows Aunt Sofia and Aunt Agatha together] 

  Christine Farmer : I know it must have been very upsetting for you when she left.

  Aunt Agatha : Upsetting? Ha ha ha! I'm loving it! Good riddance, I say! Ha ha ha ha ha!

  Christine Farmer : But I have never understood how you could just cut off contact with everybody like that. You barely know Don. You never even met our girls. We're family.

  Aunt Agatha : Family? Family is just strangers who happen to be related

  Don Farmer : [Faking a smile]  I'm so glad we came.

  [Christine elbows Don] 

• Bernard Brewster : Howdy, Bernard Brewster. Real-Estate Division, National General Bank.

  [Shakes Christine's hand] 

  Bernard Brewster : You must be Mrs. Farmer. So glad to meet you.

  [Enters the house] 

  Christine Farmer : What can I do for you?

  Bernard Brewster : Well, you know, seeing as you're going in foreclosure on Monday, I thought I'd come by, take a little advanced peek and... this must be the living room.

  [Sees Don off-screen] 

  Bernard Brewster : Howdy, Bernard Brewster. Real-Estate Division, National General Bank. Did you decorate this room yourself?

  Don Farmer : [Confused]  Uh, yes we did. But...

  Bernard Brewster : Nothing a little paint won't fix up.

  Don Farmer : Hold on! What?

  [Makes a "Who is this guy" expression] 

  Don Farmer : You can't just come in here! Did you call?

  [Follows Bernard] 

  Bernard Brewster : [Examines the twins' room; Norman barks]  It'll look a lot bigger when all the uh... toys are cleared out.

  Kelly Farmer : What do you mean, cleared out?

  Bernard Brewster : Hey, aren't you two cute? Hey, two... cute. Ha ha ha. I think I'm seeing double.

  Don Farmer : [Grabs Bernard]  That's it. Out.

  Bernard Brewster : [while being escorted out]  Hey, what's your problem?

  Don Farmer : Out!

  Bernard Brewster : Hey look, come on, give me a break.

  Don Farmer : Listen, pal, the Real-Estates Division of National General Bank isn't giving me any breaks. Now get out of here, and don't come back without an appointment!

  [Long silence. The twins look at Christine and Don, confused] 

  Don Farmer : Family conference time.

  [Cuts to the living room] 

  Don Farmer : So, what all that stuff means is... because we've had these problems making the payments, the bank wants to take back the house and sell it. But Daddy is not going to let that happen.

  Lynn Farmer : But why didn't you tell us? I thought we're all supposed to share our problems.

  Kelly Farmer : Yeah, everybody says so. Phil Donahue, Oprah...

  Lynn Farmer : Sally Jessy, Larry King...

  Kelly Farmer : [Pats her on the shoulder]  I think they get the point.

  Christine Farmer : We didn't want you to worry. And we were hoping we'd be able to get the money soon. We even tried asking Aunt Agatha for a loan.

  [Turns to Don] 

  Christine Farmer : If only Aunt Sofia were here. She'd help us.

  Kelly Farmer : But we don't want to leave this house.

  Lynn Farmer : Where will we go?

  Don Farmer : [Walks towards the twins to cheer them up]  Hey! Hey! We'll figure something out, huh?We'll improvise.

• [after tucking the twins into bed] 

  Christine Farmer : We are so lucky to have those two.

  Don Farmer : You're telling me.

  [Kisses Christine] 

  Don Farmer : And I'm telling you. Something's going to happen to save this house. We just got to think positive.

  Christine Farmer : I'm still a little worried that Lynn is getting frustrated with being a twin. It's making her bossy to Kelly. It's starting arguments between them. I'm not sure how to handle it.

  Don Farmer : Kids are always going to fight a little.

  [They sit down in the living room] 

  Don Farmer : As for this twin thing, they just want to be recognized as individuals. That's fair enough.

  Christine Farmer : It's hard for twins, though.

  Don Farmer : Well, kids are stronger than we think. They'll get over it.

  Christine Farmer : I don't know. Agatha never did.

  Don Farmer : [Considers her point]  Hmm.

• [Driving around to find Lynn and Kelly] 

  Christine Farmer : Aunt Agatha yelled at the girls, but you don't think she'd actually hurt them, do you?

  Don Farmer : Of course not.