A Million to Juan (1994)

Paul Rodriguez: Juan Lopez

Quotes 

• Juan Lopez : All the American citizens I know are illegal.

• Jorge : What is it that every Chicano family needs and very few have?

  Juan Lopez : Birth control.

  Jorge : Chicano celebrity totem poles.

• Party Guest : So, what have you been up to?

  Party Guest : I'm teaching.

  Party Guest : Really, what?

  Party Guest : I'm teaching men to refill ice trays.

  [They both laugh as Juan joins them.] 

  Juan Lopez : Now that was cold."

  [He laughs.] 

  Juan Lopez : Get it? Cold? Ice? It was a joke.

  [As they walk away.] 

  Juan Lopez : Hey, I like jokes too.