- Peter: I can't believe you're gonna let a few little letters of the alphabet keep us apart. It is a detail! Just - look, just call me Damon, okay? It'll be like a nickname.
- Peter: The only problem is me because I'm in love with her. I love her more than she'll ever know. But... you're a lucky, lucky man. You've got the right name! Goodbye Faith. Hope you two work it out.
- Faith Corvatch: How could you do this to me?
- Peter: Because I'm in love with you!
- Faith Corvatch: Ha! What kind of an excuse is that?
- Faith Corvatch: Why couldn't we just have arranged marriages in America?
- Kate Corvatch: Yeah, at least you could spend the rest of your life blaming your parents instead of yourself.
- Faith Corvatch: Sweet of her, wasn't it?
- Kate Corvatch: If I had a dress like that, I'd give it away too.
- Peter: This guy, by the way, could be the biggest loser who ever walked the face of the earth. He could be a grump, a jerk, a pervert, a cynic, a man who's mind is infested with dark thoughts, he could be a criminal... he could be... truly sick.
- Peter: You said whatever it was that you'd understand.
- Faith Corvatch: That's before I knew what it was!
- Faith Corvatch: [Faith and Peter are kissing passionately] There's something I have to tell you.
- Peter: There's nothing you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you.
- Faith Corvatch: I'm engaged. We're due to be married, in 9 days.
- Peter: [alarmed] Whoa, whoa! Except possibly that. Wait a second, what?
- Faith Corvatch: You know him. Dwayne. When you called the other night, that was me on the phone.
- Peter: [getting really worked up and freaked out] What? Dwayne?
- Faith Corvatch: But I thought I'd never find you!
- [kisses him again]
- Peter: I understand.
- [melts into her arms]
- Peter: Realistically, like, what are the odds that he's, like, some extra super double terrific guy.
- Kate Corvatch: 10 billion to one?
- Peter: Exactly.
- Kate Corvatch: [Faith is parading up and down in the wedding dress humming the wedding march] Does it come with a soundtrack?
- The False Damon Bradley: Think I'm gonna have the scampi.
- Faith Corvatch: Oh, you like shrimp? I like shrimp!
- The False Damon Bradley: Get outta town! Come on, put it there! Molto... coinchidenche!