Karaoke (1996)

Albert Finney: Daniel Feeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daniel Feeld : It's the feeling that everything, so to say, out there has been prearranged, and all you have is a sliver of stage to act on. I don't know what to call it.

  Anna Griffiths : Paranoia?

  Daniel Feeld : Ha! I've always wanted to be an artsy fartsy arsehole, Anna. That's why I subscribe to that wonderful magazine, what's it called? Sight and Sound!

• Daniel Feeld : But it's the crucial, comic, character defining moment. "Each night I ask the stars up above, why must I be a teenager in love?"

  Anna Griffiths : It's too on the nose.

  Daniel Feeld : Yes, right bang on the snoz, love!

• Sandra Sollars : What's it called, your story?

  Daniel Feeld : Karaoke.

• Consultant : An obstruction in the pancreas.

  Daniel Feeld : Is that a euphemism, don't you mean growth?

  Consultant : Ah, but we don't know if it's benign or malignant.

  Daniel Feeld : An obstruction. Well, it's what I've always wanted to be.

• Daniel Feeld : Stressed? Me? I'M AS GENTLE AS THE BEAT OF AN ANGEL'S WING!

• Daniel Feeld : [Smoking, to self]  Pig! You indulgent Pig! Obey the EEC Health Directive! Obey!

• Daniel Feeld : [IBS Diagnosis]  I've known for some time that I had an Irritated Head Syndrome...

• Daniel Feeld : My Dignity does not, after all, reside in my bumhole.

• Anna Griffiths : You live alone, don't you Daniel?

  Daniel Feeld : No wife. No partner. No family. No friends. The occasional sleazy, all but commercial sneezelike bonk with someone preferably with more to lose than I do. And a capacity for minding my own business! Why do you ask?

  Anna Griffiths : Because it makes you forget how to talk to people, how to treat your colleagues.

• Daniel Feeld : I have a Dinner Meeting with Flap-flap-twit-twit Anna! She'll humbugger on about drinking too!

• Anna Griffiths : Why do places do that? Muzak or whatever.

  Daniel Feeld : Divert the bored? Comfort the lonely? No, Showbiz, essence of.

• Daniel Feeld : It's called Cryptomnesia

  Sandra Sollars : Sounds nasty!

  Daniel Feeld : So I'm not Psychic or whatever you were afraid of.

• Daniel Feeld : I'm a writer. I put words into other people's mouths. But it's not just words into people's mouths, it's not just words on a page. I can make them do things! Like lie to each other, or screw, or kill! Yes, it's you Sandra! They're going to kill you!

• Daniel Feeld : Must write a happy ending.

• Daniel Feeld : Note the time. You called me, right?

• Daniel Feeld : Something as bad as that has to be let out.

• Daniel Feeld : [punches Nick in the face]  Now look Nick! It's "Why must I be a teenager in LOVE"!

  Nick Balmer : You know, I think that song is so right...

• Daniel Feeld : Why don't you let people smoke in here?

  Consultant : They've contracted out the Cleaning Services.

• 1st Hostess : I was looking at you and I fought...

  Daniel Feeld : Who?

  1st Hostess : Wot?

  Daniel Feeld : Who did you fight?

  [laughs] 

  1st Hostess : Wot you laughing at?

  Daniel Feeld : I've used that line before, but then so have you...

• Daniel Feeld : [narrating]  Vaguely Melancholy.

• Daniel Feeld : Cyberspace Embodies.

• Payphone Lady : He said what do you call a Fish with no eyes? A Fsh! No "I"s, see! I was in stitches!

  Daniel Feeld : Will you be long?

  [she turns her back on him] 

• Daniel Feeld : I've just been told I have six months to live. Which gives me all the time in the World to tell you, Sandra Sollars, I love you, you are like fresh air to me, you light up my life. But I know, as a sometimes rational Human Being that it's physical, sexual, I want to hold you, lie with you, and rhapsodise you.

  Sandra Sollars : WHAT me?

  Daniel Feeld : What indeed...

• Arthur 'Pig' Mallion : Hey, what is this?

  Daniel Feeld : You need some more Stars in your Crown, Arthur...

• Pete Beezley : You Slag!

  Daniel Feeld : [Watching Rain-Drenched from the Shadows]  Bastard!

• Daniel Feeld : [to Arthur's Corpse]  It's called an Alibi, old chum...

• Daniel Feeld : Christ, when are they going to learn? All those Studios paying for Drafts they never make...

• Daniel Feeld : Leave me alone...

• Daniel Feeld : I think you're very brave to be walking around with a face like that.

• Daniel Feeld : She thinks it is another game in the manner she has come to expect from him. But then the choking begins!

• Daniel Feeld : That girl in my script, I gave her such a terrible death, didn't I?

• Daniel Feeld : Hello, Friday... BUT HOW MANY MORE FRIDAYS?

• Daniel Feeld : It's another smashed bottle.

• Daniel Feeld : In English, Sandwiched with Japanese...

• Ben Baglin : Take care.

  Daniel Feeld : I'll even go so far as to Cake Tear!

  Ben Baglin : [laughs. Walks away. Starts to cry]