Karaoke (1996)

Richard E. Grant: Nick Balmer

Quotes 

• Nick Balmer : I have a whole team set to eliminate a Mister Pig Mallion. A joke I'm sure eludes you.

• Ian : [Editing]  Can I say this?

  Nick Balmer : Of course.

  Ian : ...Och, you're fond of the wee lassy, the noo.

  Nick Balmer : What are you saying? Take your kilt off!

  Ian : I'm saying, Nick, that it shows!

• Nick Balmer : That is one sick guy!

  Anna Griffiths : Yes! But not in the way you mean, Nick.

• Nick Balmer : The Narrative is all tangled up, here.

• Nick Balmer : Let's go to that Huggermugger across the road.

  Ian : What?

  Nick Balmer : Wine Bar.

  Ian : If only the English could speak Plain English, eh? But that'd really give the game away...

• Daniel Feeld : [punches Nick in the face]  Now look Nick! It's "Why must I be a teenager in LOVE"!

  Nick Balmer : You know, I think that song is so right...

• Nick Balmer : When a particular obsession breaks down, you see a glimmer of something called Dignity.

  Linda Langer : I don't know what you're talking about!

  Nick Balmer : No, I don't suppose you do.

• Nick Balmer : "I've been feeding more than the fish, and I've got a friend in the Sun"?

• Bar Shark : I'd hate to see those lovely eyes ruined by all those VDUs.

  Nick Balmer : [snooping body language]  Doesn't want him.

• Nick Balmer : And that's worth its weight in Plutonium!

• Nick Balmer : [Moodily scrunching up breadsticks] 

• Nick Balmer : Throw of the dice, Giuseppe, and I lost.

• Nick Balmer : It's not my problem.

• Nick Balmer : You can never get a taxi in Soho!