Photos
Quotes
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Andy McDermott : I didn't choose to become a werewolf. I can't face the fact that I've got to go around killing and eating people for the rest of my life.
Brad : Better get used to it.
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Amy Fitch : [undead] Thank's for the lovely evening, douche bag! You really know how to show a girl a good time don't you!
Andy McDermott : No, no, no you're dead!
Amy Fitch : No, I ain't so lucky. I am undead and as your rotting sidekick I am cursed to remain a restless spirit until you die!
Brad : Not so fast! You want my buddy dead, nutball you're gonna have to wait. I need him first. He's no use to me as a corpse
Amy Fitch : I waited four year's on a stairmaster to get a package like this. You ripped through it like a lamb chop!
Brad : Don't blame me Andy, I warned you.
Amy Fitch : [to Andy] Wait, you mean you knew about this all along?
[she punches Andy, but her non-coporial hand passes through his mouth]
Amy Fitch : Uh!
Andy McDermott : [banging his head against the wall] I'm losing... my... freaking skull!
Brad : Come on you gotta pull yourself together, Andy! You gotta get outta here the cop's wanna put you away for life!
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Andy McDermott : To Paris.
Chris : Beware.
[Andy and Chris make a toast]
Brad : Hey,hey watch it man. All right I have the score for Spain our leader with 125 daredevil points, yours truly and in second place with 95 Chris...
Chris : Wait hold on a second what about the sex points?
Brad : No,those are separate.
Chris : Since when you can't keep changing the rules.
Andy McDermott : Who said anything about sex points,read your shirt it say's Daredevil Tour.
Chris : [Girl passes by] you see that, she smiled at me.
Andy McDermott : In your dream's she's not interested in douche bags like us,european babes are charming and sophisticated especially the French
Brad : Yea hench the hairy pit's.
Andy McDermott : See what I mean.
Chris : I'll give you 30 sex point's if you can so much as get her phone number.
Andy McDermott : She's not my type.
Brad : Ah come on you-you haven't made a move this entire trip Andy.
Andy McDermott : I'm choosy.
Chris : When was the last time you had sex?
Brad : With another person?
Andy McDermott : There's sex and there's love,that's what differentiates human's from animal's.
Brad : Alright fine when where you last in love?
Andy McDermott : [to Chris] When where you ever in love?
Chris : Maps upside-down,slick.
Brad : Give him a break Chris, we can't let him fall to far back.
Andy McDermott : I won't need your charity once we get to Paris, Il show you guy's a stunt you'll never top.
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Andy McDermott : Whats her name again?
Brad : Serafine pie-got
Chris : Serafine...
Andy McDermott : Serafine Pigot, it's a beautiful name.
Chris : [Andy is standing near the entrance] Are you getting cold feet?
Andy McDermott : Just a bit nervous, I don't want to say the wrong thing.
[rings doorbell;noone answers]
Chris : [looks through window; excitingly to Andy] your on prince!
Serafine : [speaking french] whos there?
Andy McDermott : [stammers] Serafine-uh Hi-uh its the guy who uh - ive got your shoe
[serafine answers the door]
Andy McDermott : Hi I'm Andy we met on the tower, this is Chris and Brad and uh listen this uh I thought you would want this because uhh it's not my size.
[gives her shoe]
Serafine : Your very kind now go please, you must not stay here.
Chris : Charming
Brad : And sophisticated. forget about it, lets go Andy.
Andy McDermott : Wait, did you see what I saw?
Brad : What?
Andy McDermott : She had blood on her hand, she's trying it again!
Brad : [to Chris] Just so were on the same page, who's crazier here?
Serafine : Please go, or there will be trouble.
Andy McDermott : Uh-no wait wait, what did you do to your hand? Do you have blood on your hand? Your bleeding.
Serafine : Uh no, uh-uh its just paint, I'm redecorating the cellar.
Andy McDermott : [relieved] oh, I thought uh...
Serafine : Please go, now.
Andy McDermott : Listen, wait, hold it, we can help, we can have that done in no time, right guys?
Serafine : No thanks, thank you.
Andy McDermott : I-please look, I just wanna talk.
Serafine : I don't think it's a good idea.
Andy McDermott : Please just once if you let me in, i-will never bother you again.
Serafine : Ok tomorrow 4:00, in front of the Concert Hall.
Andy McDermott : You mean it?
Serafine : I promise, now go please.
Brad : Excellent
Andy McDermott : I did it.
Chris : You mean you almost blew it, take some advice from the experts-you gots to play it cool, Daddy-O.
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Chris : Relax man. She's just playing hard to get. This whole mysterious elusive thing, it's just a ploy to make her more interesting.
Andy McDermott : No, it's not that simple. The way she talks about her parents, it's like she blames herself.
Brad : Yeah, she's demented enough. Remember the blood on her hands? That's done at the cafe?
[Does karate moves]
Brad : it's like she's a black belt or something.
Claude : [speaks french] Bonsoir? Je peux va aider.
["Good evening? Can i help you?"]
Andy McDermott : Um-- we're just...
Claude : Americans?
Brad : Yeah?
Claude : I love Americans. May I help?
Chris : Uh-- Yeah. We're looking for Serafine.
Claude : Sure. But I'm sorry she's not at home.
Andy McDermott : Are you her, uh-- brother?
Claude : [chuckles] Let's just say I look after her.
Brad : Ok. Sorry to bother you.
Chris : See you.
Brad : Let's go, Andy.
Claude : Wait.
[shuts lights to the house off]
Claude : if you guys are not doing anything later, come to our charity full moon party
[gives them invitations]
Claude : it's for a good cause.
Andy McDermott : Thanks anyway, but...
Claude : Serafine will be there. Just tell the man at the door, Claude sent you.
Chris : A little, uh-- competition, huh, Andy?
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Andy McDermott : I didn't choose to become a werewolf. I can't face eating people the of my life.
Brad : You better get used to it.
Andy McDermott : Isn't there any way that I can become human again?
Brad : Yeah, there is, but you're not going to like it.
Andy McDermott : Tell me. How?
Brad : First, find the werewolf that bit you, then kill it. Then eat out its heart
Andy McDermott : What? But that means.. Serafine?
[Brad nods his head yes; disgusted]
Andy McDermott : I-- No way
[Amy leads Andy into the street in front of an approaching bus]
Brad : Andy, look out!
[Andy notices the bus in time and barely manages to avoid getting run over]
Amy Finch : What did you do that for?
Brad : Because I still need him, he's going to help kill the guy that did this to me.
Andy McDermott : I feel sick.
Amy Finch : This would all be over by now, if you hadn't open your fat trap.
Brad : You are the most egocentric corpse I've ever met.
Amy Finch : Listen, I don't know what kind of friend this jerk is to you, but he ate my spleen.
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Andy McDermott : [Andy has just freaked out at a restaurant and washes his face in the restroom and sees Brad's undead reflection in the mirror] Oh! What do you want? This is a bad dream. Right? You're not here. Are you?
Brad : Andy, you were bitten. You're already changing. Hey, you would have never looked twice at that bimbo in there.
Andy McDermott : All right. I may be upset or screwed up right now, but I'm not a wolf.
Brad : Andy, I'm dead serious.
Andy McDermott : [laughs] Dead-- that's funny. That's really funny.
[starts to urinate]
Brad : Undead, actually-- cursed to walk the earth as a restless spirit until the werewolf that did me, dies.
Andy McDermott : What do you want from me?
Brad : What I want from you can wait. Dump the chick and lock yourself up, and do it quick. The moon's rising.
Andy McDermott : You're just jealous because I'm about to score. You know you can't just pop up and tell me what to do. I don't even know why I'm listening to you. I know you're dead, and so do the police.
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Chris : [Chris and Brad are helping Andy get ready for his date] First thing we're going to do is work on your outfit. Now, okay-- remember 80% of all these French girls really go for that macho type
[gives Andy his jacket and Brad's hat]
Brad : Oh, throwing it up on the playboy-- excellent.
Chris : All right. Don't show any insecurities that's the worst.
[Chris lends Andy his sunglasses]
Chris : and uh...
Brad : [Serafine is approaching] Split. She's coming. She's coming.
Chris : [stuffs condoms in Andy's shirt pocket] Here, be prepared.
Andy McDermott : [embarrassed] Oh, wait. Come on. Chris, it's our first date
[takes condoms back out to hand them back]
Chris : [goes off to the side with Brad while looking at a map] What are you a nun? Be cool. And, um-- show attitude.
Andy McDermott : [leans on street lamp] Serafine?
Serafine Pigot : Hi
Andy McDermott : Hi
Serafine Pigot : I didn't recognize you.
Andy McDermott : [referring to his sunglasses] vOh, yeah. Uh-- well, it's bright.
Serafine Pigot : What would you like to do?
Andy McDermott : I don't know. Is there a.. cafe?
Serafine Pigot : [chuckles] We're in Paris
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Andy McDermott : [deleted scene; Andy escapes from the police station] Great now I'm a fugitive. What next?
Amy Fitch : [sarcastically] Ha, you think you got problems this whole undead gig is really getting me down.
Brad : Got to agree with her there, there's no touching, no smelling, feeling,
[shows hollowed out stomach]
Brad : no eating. It's torture.
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Chris : [Andy, Chris and Brad are at the party looking for Serafine] She ain't here, man.
Andy McDermott : I can't believe she'd be at a dump like this.
Brad : [sarcastically] Yeah, she's way to centered.
Claude : Glad you could come. Enjoy the party.
Chris : Merci.
Brad : [teasingly to Andy] Think he's boinking her?
Andy McDermott : [annoyed; sarcastically] Thanks alot, Brad. I'm going to go back to the villa-- see if she's there.
Chris : No, no, no. I'll go. You stay here in case she, uh-shows up.
Andy McDermott : [Really touched] Would you?
Chris : Yes.
Andy McDermott : Thanks, I appreciate it.
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Brad : [undead Brad's head appears on a platter] Bon appe...
Andy McDermott : [freaks out bolts from the table screaming] Oh! You're dead. I saw them pull you out of the canal.
[Instead of Brad's head it's a fish on a platter]
Waiter in Restaurant : [misinterpreting] No, Monsieur, the Atlantic.
Andy McDermott : [Brad completerly emerges from the table] Whoa, get away from me.
Brad : Pull yourself together, Andy. We have to talk.
Andy McDermott : [freaking out] Talk? Talk? Wait, you're not real. All right. Let me go.
[Runs to the bathroom]