Hercules (1997)

Jim Cummings: Nessus the River Centaur, Tall Thebian, Elderly Thebian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hercules : Pardon me. It seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.

  Tall Thebian : Yeah? And who are you?

  Hercules : I'm Hercules, and I happen to be... a hero.

  [All laugh] 

  Elderly Thebian : Is that so? Have you ever saved a town before?

  Hercules : Uh... no, not exactly. But...

  Tall Thebian : Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?

  Hercules : Well... no.

  Tall Thebian : Will you listen to this? He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.

• Heavyset Woman : It was tragic. We lost everything in the fire.

  Burnt Man : Everything except old Snowball here.

  Tall Thebian : Now were the fires before or after the earthquake?

  Earthquake Lady : They were after the earthquake, I remember.

  Heavyset Woman : But before the flood.

  Elderly Thebian : Don't even get me started on the crime rate!

  Heavyset Woman : Thebes has certainly gone downhill in a hurry.

  Elderly Thebian : Tell me about it! It seems like every time I turn around, there's some new monster wreakin' havoc and I...

  Burnt Man : All we need now is a plague of locusts.

  [a locust jumps on and chirps, everyone screams] 

  Elderly Thebian : That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!

• Hercules : Halt!

  Nessus the River Centaur : Step aside, Two-Legs.

  Hercules : Pardon me, my good, uh... uh... sir!

• Burnt Man : Hey, isn't that the goat-man who trained Achilles?

  Phil : Watch it, pal!

  Tall Thebian : Yeah, you're right. Hey, uh, nice job on those heels! Ya missed a spot!

  Phil : You... I got your heel! Right here!

  [Phil head-butts the Tall Thebian] 

• Tall Thebian : That's Phil's boy!

  [Hercules appears in the stars]