Since You've Been Gone (1998 TV Movie)

Teri Hatcher: Maria Goldstein

Quotes 

• [Maria diles 911 on a hotel payphone] 

  Maria Goldstein : [into the phone]  Hello? Yes, I'm calling from the Bismarck Hotel. Someone put Crazy Glue on a toilet seat in the ladies room and my friend is stuck.

  [pause] 

  Maria Goldstein : Yes, of course it's an emergency.

  [pause] 

  Maria Goldstein : I know but...

  [pause] 

  Maria Goldstein : Look you stupid bitch, my friend's butt is stuck to a toilet seat! Which part don't you understand?

  [pause] 

  Maria Goldstein : Yes, both cheeks.

• Kevin MacEldowney : You do what for a living?

  Maria Goldstein : We export water to Europe. I have contacts in France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Switzerland, Scandavavia, all over.

  Kevin MacEldowney : But they have water there.

  Maria Goldstein : It's a large market.

  Kevin MacEldowney : Okay, so they send their water to us and we send ours to them? Why you don't just sell them their own water?

  Maria Goldstein : Our product is very specific.

  Kevin MacEldowney : How specific can it be? It's just water.

  Maria Goldstein : Our bottles have a hand-pleasing shape.

  Kevin MacEldowney : Bringing water from another continent is ridiculous!

  Maria Goldstein : Yes, it is. Boy, I miss the old you.

  [Maria exits as does Mollie and a few others, except for Kevin and Zane] 

  Kevin MacEldowney : Arriverderci, God. Can you belive that?

  Zane Levy : [sarcastic]  Man, you're being a real dick.

  Kevin MacEldowney : What? Have you ever seen a bottle of water? They date it for freshness. What's it gonna do? Go bad?

  Zane Levy : [serious tone]  Kevin, shut up! Yes, it's ridiculous that she moves water from one country to the other, but it's what she does. What's up with you?

  Kevin MacEldowney : Nothing.

  Zane Levy : Then chill. Whatever's bothering you, deal with it. You don't want to lose all your friends and your wife in the same night.