- Lily: Remember how in first grade, little boys would chase little girls around the playground, but whenever they'd catch one, they'd get all confused and embarassed and wouldn't know what to do with them? That's... basically my love life.
- Jim: Ya know, relationships are a lot like those little packets of condiments you get at fast-food restaurants. They're these little magical things that can last forever on a shelf, but once you open them up, they go bad really fast. I just don't understand condiments.