Patch Adams (1998)

Bob Gunton: Dean Walcott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dean Walcott : ...you are not cut out to be a physician, and it is my responsibility...

  Hunter Patch Adams : Responsibility? You have one responsibility: to be a dickhead. How hard can that be? All you have to do is make sure your head is a dick, and it's attached to your neck.

• Dean Walcott : Our job is to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you and make you into something better. We're gonna make doctors out of you.

• Dean Walcott : First do no harm. What is implicit in this simple precept of medicine? An awesome power. The power to do harm. Who gives you this power? The patient. A patient will come to you at his moment of greatest dread, hand you a knife and say, "Doctor, cut me open." Why? Because he trusts you. He trusts you the way a child trusts. He trusts you to do no harm. The sad fact is human beings are not worthy of trust. It is human nature to lie take shortcuts, to lose your nerve, get tired make mistakes. No rational patient would put his trust in a human being and were not gonna let him! It is our mission here to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you and make you into something better. We're gonna make doctors out of you!

• Patch Adams : You want to see me, sir?

  Dean Walcott : You are dismissed.

  Patch Adams : [Salutes]  Sir.

  Dean Walcott : From this school. Kindly remove your things and vacate the school premises as soon as possible.

  Patch Adams : What for? For asking a group of doctors to have a sense of humor about themselves?

  Dean Walcott : Oh, I have a sense of humor, Hunter. I find it hilarious as smart as you are, you could give me an airtight reason to throw you the hell out of here!

  [Slams the book on his office desk] 

  Patch Adams : Why am I such a threat to you, sir?

  Dean Walcott : Because what you want is for us to get down there on the same levels as our patients, to destroy objectivity, all to uphold some idealistic buddy system that will allow you to work through your own feelings of inadequacy. What you have done here today is inexcusable. You have made a complete mockery out of our distinguished guests. If you think that for 1 minute, that I will further tolerate your blatant disregard of the bylaws of this... .. What are you smiling at? Is this all a big joke to you? Get out of here!

• Dean Walcott : Mr. Adams, when I told you I knew Dr. Prack, did I mislead you in some way to think I'm a pushover like he is? Kindly remove that coat. I told you, you are not to see the patients until the 3rd year.

  Patch Adams : I'm just visiting friends, sir.

  Dean Walcott : Why are you here? If you want to be a clown, go join the circus. Patients don't need to be entertained. They don't need a friend. They need a doctor! I don't want to see you in this hospital again.

  Patch Adams : What if I visit the patients on my own time?

  Dean Walcott : Yes, about your own time. It's brought to our attention that perhaps we should be suspicious of the level of your grades.

  Patch Adams : What are you saying? I'm cheating?

  Dean Walcott : Your scores are among the top in your class, yet you don't seem to study.

  Patch Adams : [Sarcastically laughing]  That's ridiculous.

  Dean Walcott : Your classmates don't seem to think so.

  Patch Adams : Really? Who?

  Dean Walcott : I'm warning you. Stay out of this hospital.