- Male Interviewer: Lisanne - 32A, Magazine Editor.
- [claps board]
- Lisanne: You want the bra off too?
- Male Interviewer: Yeah.
- Lisanne: Now, you're not showing my face, are you?
- Female Interviewer: No.
- Lisanne: Okay. Because I would die if anyone knew I was doing this. Hold on.
- [With her face out of our view, Lisanne reaches behind her back, unhooks her bra, and takes it off revealing her fist-sized breasts]
- Lisanne: There. There you have it. What do you want me to say?
- Female Interviewer: How do you feel about your breasts?
- Lisanne: How do I feel about my breasts? Well... how would *you* feel about them? I have gone to the Dentist and had tools laid on my chest as though it was a tray, as though it was a totally flat place upon which a person can unthinkingly lay their things on and, you know, get 'em later... I know that you guys probably don't like it that I'm getting the operation because you're feminists or, you know, something. I don't know.
- Female Interviewer: No. No, we're not trying to make any judgements here.
- Lisanne: Okay. Well, that's good. Because I don't really care if you did, 'cause I would just say, "Kiss my ass." I mean... I'm doing this for me, and I don't care what anybody says. I want to have big tits.
- Male Interviewer: Arlene - Mary Kay Rep.
- [claps board]
- Arlene: Can I borrow your pencil?
- [With her face out of view, Arlene receives a pencil, then opens her blouse, baring her breasts. She talks to us]
- Arlene: This is called the pencil test. It's supposed to fall to the floor.
- [She puts the pencil under her left breast. The pencil doesn't fall]
- Arlene: I love my children, but I'm a little resentful for what they did to my breasts.
- [She removes the pencil and returns it]
- Arlene: Thanks. It's like someone blew up a balloon and then they let all the air out.
- [a board reads "Susan - 36A, Saleswoman". The board claps. With her face out of view, Susan takes her bra off as she starts talking to us]
- Susan: I come from a stoic, calvinist background. You didn't complain, unless you had something drastically wrong with you like a broken leg or lung cancer. Well, I feel crippled. I can't go to the beach, I can't get clothes that fit, I can't find a man, Hell, I *look* like a man. Gloria Steinem doesn't think that breasts are important because she's already got 'em.
- [a board reads "Valerie - 34D, Veterinarian". The board claps. With her face out of view, a topless Valerie talks to us]
- Valerie: I won't say the operation didn't hurt 'cause it felt like a ton of bricks fell on my chest. But the first time I saw my two new best friends, I was like, "Oh, my God! It was worth it!" My shoulders fit me now, I have a waist... I've been reborn! I rock! This is the way that I was always meant to look.
- [a board reads "Darnell - 36DDD, Miss English Spice 1995". The board claps. With her face out of view, Darnell opens her bra from the front and reveals her giant breasts as she starts talking to us]
- Darnell: Guys always want to get their hands on these.
- [Darnell slips her bra off like a button-shirt]
- Darnell: You see these women with their National Geographic boobs dripping down their waists. Course their boyfriends always look at me. I needed to get my teeth fixed, too. But I only had enough money for one or the other. I think I made the right choice because now no one even notices that my teeth are crooked.
- [TITLE CARDS]: Scientists are now working on a soybean oil filled breast implant. Over 10,000 women have volunteered to be one of fifty allowed to participate in the test trials
- [TITLE CARDS]: Dow Corning, the distributor of breast implants filed for bankruptcy in 1995. In an effort to resolve bankruptcy proceedings, Dow Corning offered $2.4 billion as a settlement to women allegedly injured by the implants
- [TITLE CARDS]: Recently studies by the Mayo Clinic, Harvard University, John Hopkins have found no link between silicone implants and diseases like lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. More studies are in progress
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: Laura , hi .
- Laura Pierson: Hi Kevin .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: How have you been ?
- Laura Pierson: Not good .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: What's wrong ?
- Laura Pierson: I've been sick .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: What are your symptoms ?
- Laura Pierson: [Describing her symptoms] my mouth is dry.
- Laura Pierson: My eyes are dry .
- Laura Pierson: I'm tired all the time .
- Laura Pierson: And I've been having pain on the left side of my body .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: Well we'll run some tests on you , do some blood work and run a complete make up...
- Laura Pierson: I just want them out , I figured since you're the one who put them in , you'd know best how to take them out .
- Laura Pierson: [In tears] I just want them out .
- Laura Pierson: Can I see it , the thing , can I see it .
- Laura Pierson: [Dr. Saunders hands her the implant] That is nice, for what it is, it looks good.
- Laura Pierson: [At Vanessa's surgery] This woman is huge .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: She wants to be bigger .
- Laura Pierson: Well I think she's big enough .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: Scalpel.
- Laura Pierson: No.
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [Asking again] Scalpel .
- Laura Pierson: Kevin come on .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [Turning to another nurse] Scalpel .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [Laura shows Dr. Saunders her breasts] They're very nice , but I think we can go bigger .
- Laura Pierson: How big ?
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [as Laura shows him her breasts] Very nice , but I think we can go bigger .
- Laura Pierson: [excited] How big ?
- Dr. William Larson: [About breast augmentations] You make them too big .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [Drunkenly] I give the customer what they ask for , you jackass .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [to a patient] I wouldn't do anything to you that I wouldn't do to my own wife.
- Laura Pierson: Within reason.
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: How's Steve ?
- Laura Pierson: We got divorced about three months ago .
- Laura Pierson: He's not such a nice guy , it turns out .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: Oh I'm sorry , you look good .
- Laura Pierson: Thanks , but I want to look better .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: Maybe after this , we can go bowling or something .
- Swimming Pool Girl: I have this thing that I'm doing later .
- Swimming Pool Girl: [Dr Saunders is mixing something in a bowl] What's that?
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: It's a dental mold algenate .
- Swimming Pool Girl: It looks like oatmeal.
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: Yeah but you don't eat it.
- Dr. William Larson: [after hearing his wife gasp] What ?
- Colleen: [Looking at a newspaper] Not only am I married to a man who stuffs women's breasts for a living, now everyone at the club is gonna know about it,
- [flings the paper at him and storms out of the room]
- Colleen: .
- Snickering Idiot: [After Laura hangs up the phone] Who was that ?
- Laura Pierson: That was Kevin .
- Snickering Idiot: Kevin Saunders ? what did he want ?
- Laura Pierson: He wanted a date , actually .
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: [after showing a patient how to massage her breasts] Any questions ?
- Sexy Patient: [moaning softly] Yeah, can you show me that again.
- Dawn: You want to cut holes in my chest and stick bags of goo in me ?
- Dr. Kevin Saunders: It's ok I'm a Doctor .