The Faculty (1998)

Famke Janssen: Miss Elizabeth Burke

Photos 

Quotes 

• Zeke : Hello Miss Burke!

  Miss Burke : Hello sweety pie, What are you looking for?

  Zeke : Ah, nothing important. So maybe you changed your mind about the chocolate laxatives?

  Miss Burke : Actually I had my heart set on something cherry flavored, if you know what I mean.

  Zeke : Sorry I'm all outta those but I have something else for you.

  Miss Burke : Yes?

  Zeke : Oh yeah.

  Miss Burke : Something tasty?

  Zeke : [softly]  Let me hook you up.

• Zeke : Not today. It's too damn hot, and I got zero fucking tolerance.

  Miss Burke : Eat me, you asshole! I'm the one with no tolerance, you pathetic little runt!

  Student : Ouch! Come back.

  Zeke : [sarcastic]  What are you going to do? Are you going to call my mother?

  Miss Burke : And how am I going to do that, little Zekey boy? Do you even know where she is? Europe? Sri Lanka? Japan? I wonder what remote location she went to this week... to hide from her great, big bastard mistake. I've taken your shit for TOO FUCKING LONG you dickless, drug-induced excuse for a human being!

  Zeke : Whoa... woman. What are you on?

  Miss Burke : "Woman"? Did you just say "woman"? I'm sick of you, little boy! And if I have to see you peddling your little "Wonder Dust" again, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be sucking my toes 'till graduation!

  [exits] 

  Zeke : [to himself]  Whoa! She got some bad shit!

• Zeke : Crusoe was afraid he'd be stuck on the island with nothing but calluses.

  Miss Burke : That's not correct Zeke. Isolation was his greatest fear.

  Zeke : Yes, but his external existence was in no way compared to his internal agony of the loneliness he felt.

  Miss Burke : That's very good.

  Zeke : Like I said, calluses.

• Miss Burke : Zeke, you cannot conduct personal business on school property.

  [Zeke sits down on his car] 

  Zeke : Well, Miss Burke, we have a problem because I'm sitting on my car and that's my property.

  Miss Burke : Well I've had complaints from several students that you've sold them mind-altering substances. Now do you wanna talk to me about it, or take it up with Principal Drake?

  Zeke : You're too tense, Miss Burke. But I've got just the thing for ya.

  Miss Burke : You know, Zeke, I am the authority figure here, it's time you realized that.

  Zeke : Helps relief from blockage caused by dietary stress: Chocolate flavored laxatives.

  Miss Burke : You know Zeke, if you applied just 5 percent of that intellect to your studies...

  Zeke : Not a chocolate lover, huh?

  Miss Burke : ...you could've made up your finals last summer and you wouldn't have had to repeat your senior year.

  Zeke : Not a chocolate lover, huh? How about this: Condoms. Magnum Sized. And they're cherry flavored. C'mon... they're on me.

  Miss Burke : That's so rude.