Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001)
Ryan Reynolds: Michael 'Berg' Bergen
Photos
Quotes
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[About Pete]
Melissa : What does he tell you about me?
Berg : Everything.
Melissa : Like what, everything?
Berg : Like the first time he saw you, he said he actually felt his heart stop.
Melissa : Really?
Berg : And you... do a phenomenal Linda Ronstadt imitation.
Melissa : Aww... Pete.
Berg : And he hates sushi... but goes with you all the time because he knows you love it.
Melissa : Why didn't he say anything?
Berg : And you laugh like a mad scientist during sex.
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Sharon Carter : Can I talk to you guys for a second?
[storms past them]
Berg : She knows.
Pete : She does?
Berg : Play dumb.
Pete : We are dumb.
[they walk over to Sharon]
Sharon Carter : Are you guys nuts?
Berg : [flipping a page on his notepad] I'm Nuts. This is my partner, Pretzels.
Pete : What seems to be the problem, ma'am?
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Berg : Hi, my name is Berg... and I'm addicted to messing with Pete.
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Berg : You know not with whom you mess.
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Pete : Berg, you can't sleep in my bed, people talk enough as it is. Go sleep on the couch.
Berg : I can't sleep on the couch. Last week I spilled milk on it and for some reason it smells bad.
Pete : So go sleep on the floor!
Berg : I can't sleep on the floor.
Pete : Why not?
Berg : For some reason there's a trail of ants leading to the couch.
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Berg : [upon meeting Ashley] See anything you like?
Ashley Walker : Wow, where you get that line? Because you need to give it back.
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Berg : I don't like you being mad at me.
Pete : I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me. Berg, I'm gonna be 25 and I don't even know where my life is - and the one good thing I had, I messed up. When my dad was my age, he had a house, he had a wife, he had me. I mean, what do I have?
Berg : You have the ability to suck the life out of an evening.
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Berg : Y'know, Turner and Hooch were talking earlier, and they said something very intriguing.
Pete : Don't quote your shoes.
Berg : "Stay close to the leader, or the race is lost."
Pete : What do you think they meant by that?
Berg : No idea. I'm gonna take them for a walk in the park, try and get it out of them.