Spider-Man (2002)

J.K. Simmons: J. Jonah Jameson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Parker : You don't trust anyone, that's your problem.

  J. Jonah Jameson : I trust my barber.

• Peter Parker : Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander.

  J. Jonah Jameson : It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel.

• [the Goblin crashes through the Daily Bugle office] 

  Green Goblin : [grabbing Jameson by the throat]  Jameson you slime! Who's the photographer who takes pictures of Spider-Man?

  J. Jonah Jameson : I don't know who he is! His stuff comes in the mail!

  Green Goblin : YOU'RE LYING!

  J. Jonah Jameson : I swear!

  Green Goblin : He's the one who can take me to him!

  J. Jonah Jameson : I don't know who he is!

  Green Goblin : [preparing to punch Jameson]  You are useless you...!

  Spider-Man : [appears upside-down outside the window]  Settle down, tough guy.

  Green Goblin : [drops Jameson and turns around on the glider]  Speak of the Devil!

• J. Jonah Jameson : [about Peter's pictures of Spider-Man]  They're crap. Crap, crap, megacrap. I'll give you two hundred bucks for all of 'em.

• J. Jonah Jameson : He doesn't want to be famous? Then I'll make him infamous.

• Hoffman : We've got a page six problem.

  J. Jonah Jameson : We've got a page one problem, shut up.

• J. Jonah Jameson : If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo.

• Hoffman : Mr. Jameson they are very important clients, they can't wait.

  J. Jonah Jameson : They're about to.

• J. Jonah Jameson : Who is Spider-Man? He's a criminal that's who he is! A vigilante! A public menace! What's he doing on MY front page?

• J. Jonah Jameson : No jobs! Freelance! Best thing in the world for a kid your age. You bring me some more pictures of that newspaper-selling clown, maybe I'll take 'em off your hands. But I never said you have a job. *Meat*. I'll send you a nice box of Christmas meat. It's the best I can do - get out of here.

• J. Jonah Jameson : Hoffman, run down to the patent office, copyright the name "Green Goblin." I want a quarter every time someone says it.

  Hoffman : How about "Green Meanie"?

• J. Jonah Jameson : [describing a headline]  "Spider-Man, Hero or Menace? Exclusive Daily Bugle Photos".

  Peter Parker : Menace? He was protecting that armored truck...

  J. Jonah Jameson : Tell you what Atticus, you take the pictures, I'll make up the headlines! Ok? Is that ok with you?

  Peter Parker : Yes sir.

  J. Jonah Jameson : Goody.

• Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson : We sold out four printings.

  J. Jonah Jameson : Sold out?

  Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson : Every copy.

  J. Jonah Jameson : Tomorrow morning, Spider-man page one, with a decent picture this time...

• J. Jonah Jameson : What are you, his lawyer? Get out of here, let him sue me! Get rich like a normal person!

• Green Goblin : [grabbing Jameson by the throat]  Jameson, you slime! Who's the photographer who takes the pictures of Spider-Man?

  J. Jonah Jameson : I don't know who he is. His stuff comes in the mail...

  Green Goblin : YOU'RE LYING!

  J. Jonah Jameson : I swear!

  Green Goblin : He's the one who can bring me to him.

  J. Jonah Jameson : I don't know who he is!

  Green Goblin : [about to punch him]  You are useless.

  Spider-Man : Set him down, tough guy.

  Green Goblin : Speak of the devil!

  J. Jonah Jameson : Spider-Man! I knew you two were in this together! I...

  [Spider-Man plasters his web over Jameson's mouth] 

  Spider-Man : Hey kiddo! Let mom and dad talk for a minute, will ya?

  Green Goblin : [sprays knockout gas at Spider-Man]  Sleep!

• J. Jonah Jameson : I resent that slander is spoken in print its libal.