Fri, Jan 20, 1989
Desperate television presenter Jools Holland finds a naked martian in a remote English pub. Holland takes advantage of the situation and decides to create a docu-series with the martian by showing him around the UK (the entire tv series IS the docuseries). The docu-series is filmed by Cameraman Tom, who can be heard making occassional groans, but is never shown. Holland takes the martian into the country and discusses transportation options with the martian. They try walking, but that gets to tiresome. After getting the martian a pinstripe suit matching his own, Holland takes the martian to a dock to look at container ships. After learning that a container ship would cost them millions of pounds, Holland and the martian leave. In the city, Holland and the martian try a bus, but the martian walks off the bus mid-ride. They decide to go look into trains, as Holland has a great affinity for trains, but get dumped in the middle of nowhere. A handcar is given to them by a mysterious figure, and the pair travel back to a city. They inquire about buying an airplane and getting a flight license, but upon learning that theres a landing fee of 35GBP, they find it too expensive and leave. They try a car lot, and take a car for a test drive. The end up crashing it into a canal. At the second car lot, the martian has a nervous flashback to an abstract spaceship scene. Meanwhile, Holland arranges for them to get in a car, which they steal. The episode ends with them frantically painting the car gold and swapping the plates.