Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

Michael McShane: Harold Vilmes, Judge #2

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hank Vilmes : Harold, are we on COPS? Are we on COPS? Are we on COPS, Harold?

  Harold Vilmes : Shut up, Hanky, this here's business.

  [Harold gives Hank a smack on the head] 

  Hank Vilmes : Ow! Harold, Mom said not in the head!

  Harold Vilmes : Well, Mom's dead, so shut your fly trap.

  Hank Vilmes : I will if you shut your piehole.

  [Harold starts fighting with Hank] 

  Harold Vilmes : Don't make me kick ya where the good Lord split ya!

• Harold Vilmes : [to Hank]  Here's your paint can. And the next time you drink window cleaner, I'm just gonna leave it in you!

• Harold Vilmes : So, who gets the crown? How are you going to figure this all out?

  John : Well, you know, we'll, uh, compare scores and, uh, figure out a winner because, I mean, we don't know who the winner is yet. I mean, I have no idea who Jean picked, or Harold... No idea.

  Hank Vilmes : I know who da winner is. I know who da winner - Harold! I know who da winner is!

  John : That's it... You shut your Goddamn mouth, you shut your Goddamn mouth you Goddamn retard!

  [he climbs over the table and jumps onto Hank, wrestling him to floor] 

  Harold Vilmes : [pulling John away and pushing him into chair]  Come on! Back off, college boy, now listen...

  [he pulls John's tie and it rips off - it's a clip-on] 

  Harold Vilmes : Hanky here can't help it if he was born crazier than a shit house rat!

  John : Well, for fuck's sake, why didn't you leave him with a sitter?

  [Hank starts to cry] 

  Harold Vilmes : Nice, John. That's real nice... You know the babysitter's dead!

• [during the pageant interview] 

  Harold Vilmes : Are you Amber Atkins?

  Amber Atkins : [smiling]  Yes, yes I am. Thank you. Hello.

  Harold Vilmes : [checking his clipboard]  Name and spell all the United States in alphabetical order.

  Amber Atkins : Seriously?

• Jenelle Betz : [at the contestant interviews]  The tard's pants are completely off

  Harold Vilmes : [everyone looks at Hank who is obviously spanking his monkey]  Close up shop! Close up shop!