Garfield Goes Hollywood (1987 TV Short)

Thom Huge: Jon Arbuckle

Quotes 

• Jon Arbuckle : [Garfield stayed behind with a goldfish who's a rival on Pet Search]  Where were you, Garfield?

  Garfield : [as he gulps and pats his stomach]  Eliminating some competition.

  Jon Arbuckle : Well, hurry and get dressed. The show's about to begin.

  Pet Search host : [entering their dressing room]  Hey, you're on in five minutes. Don't be late.

  Jon Arbuckle : Come on, guys, let's break a leg!

• Jon Arbuckle : [after seeing the Limon Sisters, a trio of chickens, perform at the Pet Search finals]  Those chickens were pretty good.

  Garfield : Yes, they are. We must have them for dinner some time.

• Jon Arbuckle : OK, are we going out there tonight?

  Garfield : Maybe!

  Jon Arbuckle : Are we gonna get the performance of our lives?

  Garfield : Doubt it!

  Jon Arbuckle : Are we gonna win?

  Garfield : Not a chance!

  Jon Arbuckle : All right, let's DO it!

  [he and Odie dash away to the stage wing] 

  Odie : [barks] 

  Garfield : Let's not, and say we did!

• Jon Arbuckle : I think we have it wrapped up, guys. I haven't seen any competition so far, and there's only one act *after* us!

  Odie : [barks] 

  Garfield : They're lucky it'll probably be a dog who plays five instruments at the same time.

• Pet Search host : Our final act this evening is Bob the Wonder Dog. He will play five, count them, FIVE instruments simultaneously!

  Jon Arbuckle : Uh-oh.

  Garfield : Bingo.

  Odie : [whimpers] 

• Jon Arbuckle : Wow, just look at all this! Our own private dressing room! Fresh flowers! So this is what stardom is like!

  Garfield : [looking into a rehearsal room]  Hey, they're rehearsing! Let's check out the competition.

• Jon Arbuckle : [after Miles the Jazz Canary has performed]  Winning all those prizes would be great guys. But getting back to our *real* home will be even greater, right?

  Garfield : He's *got* to be kidding.

• Pet Search host : [after Odie reveals Bob the Wonder Dog as somebody in a dog costume, the audience boos]  There seems to be a disqualification! Well, those are all the acts, so it's time to let the studio audience determine this week's winner!

  [gesturing to the remaining contestants off-camera by shaking his finger at them] 

  Pet Search host : May I have all the contestants on stage, please?

  Jon Arbuckle : This is it. Good luck, boys.

• Jon Arbuckle : We're rich, we're famous! We'll win the contest and get the show on the road! You guys are fabulous; I had no idea you could dance!

  Garfield : Shucks, that old number? You should see us on the fence.

  Jon Arbuckle : We'll need costumes, a routine, we'll rehearse day and night!

  Garfield : Day and night? For-get it.

  Jon Arbuckle : [bringing out his guitar]  And we'll need - some music.

• Jon Arbuckle : [after he, Garfield, and Odie sing "Wizard of Love" at the "Pet Search" preliminaries]  You guys were *great*!

  [Odie barks] 

  Garfield : You were awful!

  Jon Arbuckle : Well, one more act to go and we can collect our $1,000.

• Jon Arbuckle : [settling into his easy chair before watching "Pet Search"]  Come on, boys, the show is about to start!

  [Garfield and Odie scamper in] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Gee, isn't it great to be like a real family to enjoy something together?

• Jon Arbuckle : [as he, Garfield, and Odie arrive at the WBOR studio for the Pet Search preliminaries]  So this is show business. Pretty glamorous, huh, guys?

  Garfield : Oh, quaint. A low tech studio in a high tech society.

  Jon Arbuckle : And those other acts look pretty good, too.

• Garfield : [after Garfield and Odie lose at the "Pet Search" finals]  We've been robbed!

  [throws this hat off and jumps on it repeatedly] 

  Garfield : I demand a recount! The judges were paid out! Ripoff! We've been...

  [grunts as he kicks a stage light away, then shreds a nearby curtain] 

  Garfield : Call Ralph Nader!

  [as he puts his hat back on] 

  Garfield : We've lost everything!

  Jon Arbuckle : [soothingly to Garfield]  We really haven't lost anything, Garfield. We're still a family. We still have each other.

  Garfield : [still glaring]  Big, fat, hairy, deal...