Shanghai Noon (2000)
Jackie Chan: Chon Wang
Photos
Quotes
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Roy O'Bannon : Ooooh... who's the pretty lady?
Chon Wang : That's my wife!
Roy O'Bannon : How long you been in this country?
Chon Wang : Four days.
Roy O'Bannon : Nice work.
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Chon Wang : See! I told you so!
Roy O'Bannon : No, you said "wet shirt don't break," not "piss shirt bend bar"!
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[Reading a reward poster]
Roy O'Bannon : The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible!
Chon Wang : I know. I'm not from Shanghai.
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Roy O'Bannon : [to Chon] If people start looking at you funny then just say, "Howdy, partner."
Chon Wang : ...Howdy... partner?
Roy O'Bannon : Say it a little faster than that or people'll think you're slow in the head.
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Roy O'Bannon : [adjusting Chon's cowboy hat] There, sort of a rakish angle.
Chon Wang : How do I look?
Roy O'Bannon : I think you look great! I think you look like a real cowboy. Very dapper - red bandana.
[holding out his hand]
Roy O'Bannon : Roy O'Bannon.
Chon Wang : [shaking his hand] My name is Chon Wang.
Roy O'Bannon : John Wayne?
Chon Wang : Chon Wang.
Roy O'Bannon : That's a terrible cowboy name!
Chon Wang : Why?
Roy O'Bannon : No, come on. That's not gonna work. That's horrible; that's so bad! And so's the ponytail!
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Roy O'Bannon : Yes, John, I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man.
Chon Wang : He's only twelve.
Roy O'Bannon : Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped?
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Chon Wang : Hi, horsey!
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Chon Wang : Let me out! Give me the book back! I have to go to Carson City to rescue the Princess! You've got the wrong person, I don't belong here!
[yells in Chinese]
Roy O'Bannon : [sarcastically] Keep going with the Chinese, I think that's working. I think they're just about to let you out.
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Chon Wang : I got an idea: why don't I pretend I'm sick, and then you can attack the guard when they come in?
Roy O'Bannon : Oh, you mean the sick prisoner routine? Does that still work in China? 'Cause here it's sorta been done to death.
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Roy O'Bannon : What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Carson City.
Chon Wang : [points at Roy] You! You gave me bad directions!
Roy O'Bannon : No, I gave you *wrong* directions.
[holds up Chon's chopsticks]
Roy O'Bannon : You want your toothpicks back?
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Chon Wang : This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from... but here is where it sets.
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Roy O'Bannon : So who are you?
Chon Wang : I'm an Imperial Guard to the Emperor of China.
Roy O'Bannon : China... what's with the book?
Chon Wang : The book belongs to Princess Pei Pei. She was kidnapped from the Forbidden City.
Roy O'Bannon : I like that, Forbidden City, a princess, kidnapped! It's so mysterious.
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Chon Wang : What happened?
Roy O'Bannon : Oh nothing I just killed him, how'd you do?
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Roy O'Bannon : I'm so lost, Chon. Ninety percent of the time I don't even know what I'm doing out here in the West.
Chon Wang : No, you're a good outlaw.
Roy O'Bannon : Stop, please. I'm a screw-up.
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Chon Wang : We stick together. We are partners.
Roy O'Bannon : That's beautiful.
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Chon Wang : You killed my uncle!
Roy O'Bannon : Bull! That was Wallace! All the way!
Chon Wang : He was one of your bandits.
Roy O'Bannon : He wasn't part of my gang! He was a new guy! And he's crazy as a road lizard!
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Chon Wang : He took the gold.
Roy O'Bannon : Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you.
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[Roy is watching Chon attempt to saddle his horse. The horse keeps pulling the saddle blanket off before Chon can get the saddle on]
Roy O'Bannon : Well, best of luck to you. Guess this is what your people call "sayanora." Looks like Fido's giving you some problems there. You want me to, uh, give you a hand?
Chon Wang : No, I can do it.
Roy O'Bannon : *Sure* you can. H-How is a greenhorn like you gonna make it to Carson City and rescue this princess?
["Fido" pulls the saddle blanket off again. Roy sighs]
Roy O'Bannon : Stop, stop, stop, stop. I can't take it any more. Watch me do it.
[He takes the saddle blanket]
Roy O'Bannon : You get it like this and you put it up high
[demonstrates]
Roy O'Bannon : . See, it'll drift back when you're riding.
[pause]
Roy O'Bannon : All right, I'll do it.
Chon Wang : Do what?
Roy O'Bannon : Take you to Carson City, help you rescue Princess Pee Pee.
Chon Wang : Pei Pei! You do not care about the princess.
Roy O'Bannon : You don't know me very well, do you? Tell you one thing: I hate to think of an innocent member of Chinese nobility suffering, I'll tell you that.
[pause]
Roy O'Bannon : You people believe in Karma over there, right? Well I've been thinking... there must be a reason why we keep running into each other. Now I've ridden with some terrible men, just people I couldn't trust, but when I look at you, there's something different about you. And I can see it, I can see it in your eyes. It's what the Indians call... chipichawa.
Chon Wang : What's that?
Roy O'Bannon : Chipichawa is nobility. And you have it, in spades. You got yourself a partner, and this has nothing to do with gold, okay?
[Spits in his hand and offers it to Chon]
Roy O'Bannon : Shake on it.
Chon Wang : Why are you spitting in your hand?
Roy O'Bannon : Well, it's, uh, customary to seal the deal. Come on, let's go
[Chon spits into Roy's hand]
Roy O'Bannon : . No, you -
[wipes of his hand on his shirt]
Roy O'Bannon : this is going to be a long journey.
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Chon Wang : Fight with honor. You will win.
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Chon Wang : Never touch my queue.
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Chon Wang : What happened my horse? Is he dead?
Roy O'Bannon : No, but we are, Chon.
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[Chon Wang pees on a shirt, planning to use it to bend the jail bars]
Roy O'Bannon : Okay, I like your energy but I'm not with you...
Chon Wang : When the shirt gets wet, it doesn't break.
Roy O'Bannon : ...I don't know what that means.
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[Chon gives Roy a pair of chopsticks to dig with]
Chon Wang : Dig.
Roy O'Bannon : Hey!
Chon Wang : Don't talk. Just dig.
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Chon Wang : This is the West... not the East. And the sun... may rise where we come from... but here is where it sets.
