Third Watch (1999–2005)

Joe Lisi: Lieutenant Swersky

Quotes 

• Cruz : Sorry to interrupt kindergarten, but I need, um, Boscorelli.

  Lt. Swersky : For the whole tour?

  Cruz : I'll get him back when I can.

  Bosco : Duty calls, boys. Think of me fondly with every parking ticket you issue.

• Lt. Swersky : It's good to see you up and around, Bosco.

  Bosco : You should be glad, Boss. I heard on the news you got people getting shot right here in the building?

  Lt. Swersky : Yeah... It was an unusual day.

  Bosco : I leave for a few months, you let the whole place go to hell?

  Lt. Swersky : Are you trying to piss me off in the first two minutes?

  Bosco : No, I'll hold that 'till tomorrow.

• Bosco : [about Monroe]  Why can't I ride with her?

  Lt. Swersky : No way, Bosco. I don't need that drama.

  Bosco : There's no drama. Look, whatever happened when I was away, none of my business. I'm serious. We're good. You're gonna have more problems with me answering this phone right there.

  Lt. Swersky : Okay, but if I hear one complaint from her, you're gonna be answering that phone for the rest of your career. Am I clear?

  Bosco : Crystal.

• Lt. Swersky : Where have you been?

  Bosco : [escorting Daryl to lock-up]  Pretty busy at the hospital, Boss.

  Lt. Swersky : Oh yeah? We got a couple of calls about a guy in green pants and a vest, handcuffed, jogging down the street. You know anything about that?

  Bosco : All I can say is that's one hell of a coincidence.

• Sully : Vouchering property from a suicide is a good learning tool for our young office here.

  Lt. Swersky : Sure is. Handle it, Finney.

  Brendan Finney : This isn't our job.

  Lt. Swersky : Handle it!

  Sully : [to Finney]  And I bet you signed up for the glitz and glamour.

• [about Michael] 

  Cruz : I'm half tempted to put him up for a Citizen of the Year award. Maddox is as bad as they come.

  Lt. Swersky : He murdered a prisoner in the middle of my station house. That doesn't make him much better.

• Lt. Swersky : Don't you wanna know who you're riding with?

  Sully : Please tell me you're not sticking me with some rookie I'm gonna have to baby-sit all day.

  Bosco : Actually, boss wants me to keep an eye on you.

• Lt. Swersky : Bosco, you're early. They fumigating your apartment?

• Lt. Swersky : [at Roll Call]  ... In turn the bank promised a generous donation to the PBA widow's and children's fund, in Bosco's name. Not to mention they offered to chip in for his new pace maker.

• Lt. Swersky : Davis, you'll be in 5-5 David with a brand new probationary patrolman fresh from the academy.

  Davis : A rookie! Seriously?

  Lt. Swersky : Oh, after the fine homicide arrest you made the other day, I'm making you a Field Training Officer.

  Sully : Yeah. I've been with a rookie. The perks aren't worth it.

  Davis : Well, it was no picnic for me either. I didn't get any perks.

  Sully : Hey, I gave you a million dollars worth of law enforcement knowledge.

  Davis : Right. We're "solving problems." That's genius!

• Lt. Swersky : Monroe said you were going to see his mother. I can tell her.

  Yokas : It should come from me.

  Lt. Swersky : He's gonna make it, Faith.

  Yokas : You didn't see him.

  Lt. Swersky : He's Bosco.

  Yokas : He's not Superman.

• Lt. Swersky : You missed roll call.

  Cruz : Yeah, I had trouble finding my costume.

• Lt. Swersky : Here's a summons packet. I think 25 a week will do.

  Cruz : I'm a sergeant.

  Lt. Swersky : Then you should know how to fill them out.

  Cruz : If I was a guy I would've been promoted off the work I did. I got more collars than anyone in this whole department.

  Lt. Swersky : Good point. Someone like you could probably get me 50.

• Lt. Swersky : This is the bomb guy?

  Davis : Yeah. He looks a little different when he isn't running away.

  Frankie : Hey, man, this guy was gonna kill me.

  Davis : What are you talking about 'was'? Whole lot of time left in the day

• [about Sully] 

  Old Lady : Isn't he kind of out of shape to be a cop?

  Lt. Swersky : That's uncalled for, lady.

  Davis : I've been telling him that for years, ma'am.

• Lt. Swersky : Another satisfied customer. I'm really good at this.

• [to Cruz] 

  Lt. Swersky : Shut-up! All you do is talk! Now I want you to listen!

  [to herself] 

  Yokas : I love that man.