Third Watch (1999–2005)
Anthony Ruivivar: Carlos Nieto, Self
Photos
Quotes
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[his eulogy]
Carlos : Alex Taylor was, um... She was, um... She was a pain in the ass! I've never met anyone as stubborn as her. I mean, you couldn't tell her anything. Just this morning Doc told me that him and Lieutenant Johnson told her to get off that car like ten times. Ten times and she wouldn't do it. I remember hear... but I remember hearing her answer when they told her to get off. She said that the woman that she was with was afraid. Not that she was hurt badly or dying, but just afraid. Can you imagine risking your life so that another person isn't scared? I don't think I'll ever be capable of that kind of sacrifice, but... I'm gonna spend whatever time I have left trying to live up to that. Mrs. Taylor, I was with your daughter at the end, I held her hand. There was only one thing on her mind... you. She wanted me to tell you that it didn't hurt. That's all she wanted was for you to know. Her last thoughts were not of herself. She wanted to go out on her own terms. She wanted to leave a message and no one was going to stop her from doing that. Like I said, she was the most stubborn person I've ever met.
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[about Vangie]
Carlos : The girl is four short of a six pack. For all I know she could show up nursing a Tickle Me Elmo telling me how it looks just like me.
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Holly Levine : I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to run away from me now.
Carlos : Are you kidding? You taught me something today that no one ever has.
Holly Levine : I did?
Carlos : You made me appreciate being an orphan.
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Holly Levine : If I had said "Hey, let's drive ten hours into the sticks so you can meet my parents," you would've had a complete meltdown.
Carlos : No, I wouldn't.
Holly Levine : You're having one now.
Carlos : It's because you kidnapped me.
Holly Levine : You're allegedly not a kid.
Carlos : Well, it's person-napping. I'm being taken somewhere against my will. I'm definitely being some kind of napped.
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Holly Levine : They live in a rural area.
Carlos : How rural?
Holly Levine : Very.
Carlos : Oh, tell me they have indoor plumbing.
Holly Levine : Where's your sense of adventure?
Carlos : They don't have indoor plumbing?
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Carlos : We're more like, uh, casually serious.
Charles Benjamin : Oh, I see. You're just "casually" sleeping with my daughter.
Carlos : Oh, no, that part's serious.
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[about hunting]
Carlos : I'd love to go. It sounds like fun.
Holly Levine : It's not fun for the deer.
Charles Benjamin : We'll throw 'em a little party before we shoot 'em.
Holly Levine : [to Carlos] How about celibacy? Does that sound like fun?
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Carlos : I didn't grow up in a family. I thought it was interesting.
Holly Levine : Interesting?
Carlos : I've only seen that kind of dysfunction in the movies.
Holly Levine : I told them that I had this perfect life in New York. That I had a nice apartment, and a great job and an amazing boyfriend and somehow I walk away from the whole situation feeling like it's not true.
Carlos : You said I was amazing?
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[at Aaron's apartment]
Carlos : Whoa! Possible DOA?
Sully : I thought I saw him move.
Grace Foster : He's already started to decompose.
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Holly Levine : Did anyone notice how pretty the air smelled today?
Carlos : It smells like piss.
Grace Foster : I love this time of year. End of summer, it's about to change to fall...
Carlos : Either one of you starts singing, I'm jumping out the window.
Grace Foster : Only on the second floor. That's not much of a statement.
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Grace Foster : Let's check it out. Might've lost consciousness or something.
Carlos : Or it could be a prank.
Grace Foster : Won't hurt you to walk, Carlos. Stay in shape. You wouldn't want Holly to see you getting all flabby.
Carlos : What did she tell you?
Grace Foster : Come on, stud.
-
Carlos : What happened?
Grace Foster : You got hit in the head. We're almost at the hospital.
Carlos : I can't keep getting hit in the head. This is like the tenth time.
Grace Foster : Yeah, you definitely need a new hobby.
-
Nurse : What happened to you now, Nieto?
Carlos : I really gotta stop getting hit in the head.
Grace Foster : He's also displaying a bit of a repetitive speech problem.
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Carlos : I told you, I'm a pro. I get hit in the head all the time.
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Carlos : So, um, let me get this straight. You thought that you were gonna die from eating too many antacid tablets?
Kathy : That won't kill me?
Carlos : Maybe if you're eating them when you're walking out into traffic -...
Holly Levine : Carlos!
Carlos : - -or something. Um, actually, you shouldn't exceed the recommended dose of any medication unless you first consult your physician.
Kathy : Even if I'm just taking them to get high?
Carlos : Especially then.
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Holly Levine : First you "accidentally" swallow a bunch of antacids.
Kathy : That wasn't an accident. That was a bad decision.
Holly Levine : Okay. But then you "accidentally" turn the gas on, leave it on with all the windows closed. A person might think you're trying to harm yourself.
Kathy : I see what you mean, but really, I'm fine.
Holly Levine : I don't believe you.
Carlos : Oh... And I'm insensitive?
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[to Grace]
Carlos : Girls always want the honey when other bees start buzzing around it. Look, if it doesn't work out, I'll break you off some.
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Carlos : I would think people would covet me as a partner.
Kim : Covet?
Carlos : I know my stuff, I don't get in the way, I'm not above doing some of the dirty work. I definitely know the medical, the paperwork's not a problem. I'll drive if you want, I'll ride if you want. I'm flexible, and flexible is what you want in a partner. You remember that.
Kim : Oh yeah, not to mention sexist, self-absorb, juvenile...
Carlos : Juvenile?
Kim : Yeah, Joey's more mature than you.
Carlos : Don't even bring that up... You're a juvenile!
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Carlos : What is better, that I was soft hearted, or that I was good at my job?
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[about Taylor's funeral]
Carlos : You're supposed to speak.
Doc : Oh, oh, I'm supposed to speak! Well, well what am I gonna say, Carlos? Huh? What am I gonna say, that - - that Taylor died because she was stupid? Yeah, that's it. That's it! She was too stupid to get down off a burning car after she was told ten times.
Carlos : Doc, I...
Doc : You know what? She... She didn't want to have anything to do with being a medic. She thought she was so much better than that because she was a firefighter. A real hero! Not one of us taxi drivers for the dying and the dead. She died doing what she hated! Pissing all over my chosen profession, and yours! How'd that make you feel Carlos? Because I hated it! It pissed me off! - That's my eulogy... That's what I got! How you like it so far?
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[about the flies for his class project]
Carlos : Put my virgins down.
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[after doing good deeds]
Carlos : This is the way people who go to church must feel.
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Carlos : It's like a deal God made with the universe. If a white guy can play ball, he's ugly.
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Carlos : What is it with women and the "L" word?
Grace Foster : "The "L" Word"?
Carlos : You know... Love.
Grace Foster : Okay, look, first of all, it's not all women. I mean, I have never told any guy that I love him. Secondly, I think Levine pretty much loves everyone.
-
Carlos : For a while today I thought you were in that explosion. I knew you were going there. I heard it come over the radio and I... My stomach flipped, I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I've never felt that way before, worrying about someone like that.
Holly Levine : What are you saying?
Carlos : Your story about Jerusalem and the bombs. Everyone calling their loved ones... Who did you call, Holly? I got out of the bus and ran the last five blocks. I was afraid. Afraid that I'd lost you. But you didn't call me. You say "I love you" but you didn't call... It's not about saying the words. It's about actions. It's the best that I can give you right now, and if that's not good enough for you then I am sorry, but it's all that I can give you.
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Carlos : Thought you were tough.
Grace Foster : Give me blood and guts all day. Love? Pass.
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[about Doc]
Carlos : The way you always put the patient first. Kinda reminds me of someone.
Grace Foster : Yeah, who's that?
Carlos : You didn't know him.
-
Brendan Finney : Hey, look, I know I got a lot of family things going on right now. My family's messed up. I don't know how my partner and I are. But the one thing I know for sure is I'm not gonna meet anybody like you again. And I don't wanna mess this up.
Carlos : Kiss him, stupid!
Grace Foster : Go home, Carlos!
Carlos : Amateur.
Brendan Finney : So kiss him, stupid.
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Carlos : You know how everyone has that one thing that they're scared of? Rats for me.
Grace Foster : You're scared of everything.
Carlos : Mostly rats.
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[barely avoiding an accident]
Grace Foster : I had the right of way.
Carlos : A lot of people in the cemetery could have that on their headstone.
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Carlos : They let you in? I'm dying, right? That's why you're here? They said I'm over?
Holly Levine : No, you dope. I wanted to be with you.
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[Doc gets Joy's number]
Carlos : I know nothing. You rule!
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Jeneca : So which is it? Are you a habitual liar or an emotionally bankrupt human?
Carlos : Which is worse?
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Carlos : What I don't need is for every med. school I apply to to find out I got fired from an emergency medical position because I'm an emotional black hole... Or they put a worse evaluation: "I'm cold, self-centered, and aloof."
Doc : I wouldn't say that about you.
Carlos : You did, two days after I met you.
-
Carlos : We had some models earlier today. They invited us all to a party. Man, these chicks were hot, fire hot. There was like five of 'em. Two of them were into me. One liked Doc, but she was the ugly one.
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Walsh : You know my neighbor's starting to cut my lawn now? I didn't ask him to, he just started doing it.
Lombardo : Send him to my place.
Carlos : How's he feel about painting?
Walsh : I don't know, his place looks like crap.
Lombardo : What about plumbing? I got a stopped toilet for about a week now.
Jimmy : You do the same damn thing here, man.
Walsh : What the hell do you eat, man?
Lombardo : Your cooking.
Jimmy : Now that makes you a hero.
Walsh : Kiss my ass.
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Carlos : [he finds out Davis isn't gay] I was gonna ask you if this outfit worked.
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Carlos : [after falling off the fire pole - voiceover] I thought I was dead. And that my own personal hell consisted of evil little midgets with sticky fingers, missing teeth, and pigtails... Children.
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[looking at the pedophile in the ambulance]
Carlos : I think I got that shirt.
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Kim : I never really thought about it. Lieutenant Zambrano, Lieutenant. Lieu.
Carlos : Ooh, I just got chicken skin.
Kim : Hey Lieu, got a minute?
Carlos : It's a strange coincidence, don't you think? The two
[Doc and Kim]
Carlos : of you get on the promotion list at the same time.
Kim : It's a test, Carlos. A civil service exam.
Carlos : Yeah, but I mean, you know, what were you doing, having secret study groups or something? You could have at least told me about it.
Kim : You're certifiable, you know that?
Carlos : Oh, that means a lot coming from you, Lieu.
Kim : Oh shut-up.
Carlos : Yes sir.
Kim : What the hell is chicken skin?
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Doc : It's Boy Scout first aid. Shared body heat, skin to skin.
Carlos : Uh, I was never in the Boy Scouts. Doherty?
Jimmy : I'm driving.
Carlos : [takes off his shirt] I swear, if either of you tell anybody about this...
Jimmy : Oh, are you kidding me? When that lady pulls through she's gotta know. God, what I wouldn't do for a camera right now.
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Carlos : [to Davis] I'm sorry I took so long to get ready, but I had a difficult time picking out which long johns go with mopping a firehouse.
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Carlos : Drive-thru plumbing supply store. I don't know if that idea's gonna catch on.
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[about Kylie]
Carlos : How could one kid be so unlucky? To be born to a one sibling psycho and a foster care reject who has no family?
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Carlos : I was four. This old lady could have lived in a giant shoe and it wouldn't look familiar.
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[looking at Carlos's baby pictures]
Doc : Oh, those ears.
Lucinda Harding : The boys teased him something terrible. They called him Cups because they stuck out like that.
Carlos : Cups?
Lucinda Harding : Now that was a brooding child if I ever saw one. Sweet enough, but not so affectionate. Always off on his own. Sort of self-involved.
Doc : You've come a long way, Cups.
-
Doc : It's gotta be eight more minutes, and I thought you'd understand.
Carlos : Here's what I do understand - - I'm not letting this man die on the floor of my firehouse.
Doc : Hey, you better sit back down Carlos.
Carlos : If he dies, you're a murderer!
Doc : Sit down!
Carlos : You wanna shoot me? Shoot me.
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Dr. Breene : I know you have to get to work, but I just wanted to talk to you, together, for a few minutes first.
Carlos : This another voluntary session that I have to attend?
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Carlos : [to Dr. Breen] Listen? I had a cop in my bus last night. He died. While I was talking to him, he just died, and I don't know why. Medically, I just don't understand it. I need Monte Parker here so I can ask him to explain it to me. Because he'd probably know. That's what he was to me. He's the only person I talk to.
-
Carlos : Have they invited us back in yet?
Holly Levine : Yeah. A week ago.
Carlos : What? No one told me!
Walsh : It was so much funnier watching you freeze your ass off.
Carlos : Oh, nice! Nothing I like more than a good joke at my expense.
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[about to get punched by a cop]
Carlos : Not the face!
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Carlos : Look. I respect how much you loved your old detail. But we aren't any country club.
Grace Foster : Yeah. Okay.
Carlos : Don't walk away from me! Come here. You know what? None of us were born the day that you got here. You don't know anything about us. You have no idea how many calls we take, how many lives we've saved and lost, how many bullets we've dodged. No matter how minor you manage to make it all sound! I don't care whether you came from Bed-Stuy or Baghdad. You're not gonna minimize my experience here just because it's not yours. So you either learn to respect us the way that we respect you, or just keep your mouth shut until you've clawed your way back to that warzone where you'd rather be! You got that?
[to Kim]
Grace Foster : Guy's got stones.
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[to Grace]
Holly Levine : Watching Carlos scream at other drivers all night can really help your résumé.
Carlos : They're idiots!
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Carlos : I'm about to get it and there you are with some stupid comment.
Holly Levine : You know what? You're right. That's what keeps Grace from jumping all over you.
Carlos : So stop it, all right?
Holly Levine : No way is it that stupid haircut or the disgusting way you lick your lips when you're talking to her. Or the way you never look higher than her chest or lower than her ass, or just your general creepiness you get whenever you're around any woman. That slimy look you get in your eyes like we're all just hunks of meat in a deli display case and you haven't eaten in years. That is all very attractive. In fact, I'm sure that you're the man Grace Foster's been looking for all her life.
Carlos : I don't have a stupid haircut.
