Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999– )
Christopher Meloni: Detective Elliot Stabler
Photos
Quotes
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[Looking through a victim's purse for ID]
Olivia Benson : No jewelry. I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler : Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia Benson : That's 'cause you carry it for me.
Elliot Stabler : Heh...
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Det. Elliot Stabler : [sees Warner enter the restaurant where he and Olivia are eating lunch] An ME out of the lab? It must be big.
M.E. Melinda Warner : I got the report back from the contents of the vomit.
Det. Olivia Benson : Am I going to want to stop eating for this?
M.E. Melinda Warner : Roast beef, mozzarella cheese, corn and raisins. Luckily, it had only been in the stomach a few hours, so it was only partially digested.
Det. Olivia Benson : All right, I'm done.
[pushes her salad away. Elliot shrugs and takes it]
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Neighbor : [a snoopy neighbor witnessed a rape and didn't report it] Do I need a lawyer?
Elliot Stabler : For being a peeping tom? No, you just need a shrink.
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Det. Olivia Benson : Your one night as a bachelor and you go to the grocery store? That's lame.
Det. Elliot Stabler : [shrugs] A grocery store with strippers.
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M.E. Melinda Warner : [performing an autopsy with the detectives present] No fluids present. Tests show spermicide common in condoms.
[removes an organ from the body and weighs it]
Elliot Stabler : This is fun.
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Det. Elliot Stabler : [to Fin during a card game] What's your favorite kind of torture?
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Det. Elliot Stabler : [screaming] I got an F!
