Celebrity Deathmatch (1998–2007)

Maurice Schlafer: Johnny Gomez

Quotes 

• [each episode's closing line] 

  Johnny Gomez : Good fight, good night.

• Johnny Gomez : What the?

  [to Nick] 

  Johnny Gomez : WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TAPE?

  Nick Diamond : Oh shoot, I...

  Johnny Gomez : Don't tell me! You have the only copy of this historic Beatles fight with all these new songs and you've recorded over its- Tell me it's not true!

  Nick Diamond : What can I say, Johnny? I'm a JAG Maniac!

  Johnny Gomez : You're a JAG Off!

  [to the audience] 

  Johnny Gomez : Sorry folks. I'll make sure he pays for this. For Celebrity Deathmatch, I'm Johnny Gomez.

  Nick Diamond : And I'm...

  Johnny Gomez : [to Nick]  A DEAD man!

  [to the audience] 

  Johnny Gomez : Good fight, good night!

  [Punching Nick 2 times, to Nick] 

  Johnny Gomez : You stupid, harmless-!

• [Axl Rose pulls out a sharp object from under his kilt] 

  Johnny Gomez : Nick, what the hell is this psycho doing?

  [Celtic music played in background] 

  Nick Diamond : Ancient Scottish soldiers wearing kilts such as Axl's always carried a dagger strapped to their ankle. Tradition has it that once a soldier removes it from its scabbard, he can't put it back without drawing blood... even if it's his own.

  Johnny Gomez : It's scissors, Nick.

  [Celtic music abruptly stops] 

  Nick Diamond : Oh... uh, that must be a different tradition.