- Guy in Stall: Whatcha' doin'? Poopin'?
- Young Mike: Let me get this straight... you've got Super Mario Brothers AND all the ice cream I can eat? You just TRY and keep me out of your van, mister!
- Mike: Just like my momma always said... just because a whore don't charge doesn't mean she ain't a whore!
- Mike: You mean we're free to go?
- Las Vagas Cop: Yeah, we find that, seven times out of ten, the guy digging his own grave is just an innocent victim.
- Guy in next room: Whatcha' doin'? Nappin' before poopin' again?