Gilmore Girls (2000–2007)

Mike Gandolfi: Andrew

Quotes 

• Luke : [Luke is buying self-help books but doesn't want Andrew to see them]  What are you doing?

  Andrew : I have to ring them up.

  Luke : I ' ll just tell you the prices. This one is... $24.99.

  Andrew : That high?

  Luke : They're your prices!

  Andrew : Can I just see the book?

  Luke : I'm reading you the book. It says right here.

  [looks at the price again] 

  Luke : Oh, wait - that's the Canadian price. $14.99.

  Andrew : Will you just let me scan the book?

  Luke : When you scan the book, do you see the title?

  Andrew : Yes.

  Luke : Then no.

  Andrew : Luke, come on! What do you got there, porn?

  Luke : You sell porn?

  Andrew : No!

  Luke : You think I brought my own porn in here to buy?

  Andrew : I don't know what you're doing. I just need to scan the books.

  Luke : [hands Andrew some money]  This should cover it.

  Andrew : A hundred bucks? That's way too much!

  Luke : Take it.

  [he leaves, then comes back in] 

  Luke : Bag.

  [Andrew hands him one, he leaves again] 

• Andrew : I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head.

  Lorelai : There it is - our new town slogan.

  Rory : I like it.

  Lorelai : I see coffee mugs, T-shirts.

  Rory : Don't forget stuffed shish-kabobbed birds.

  Lorelai : That moan when you squeeze 'em.