Gilmore Girls (2000–2007)

Milo Ventimiglia: Jess Mariano

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Jess : Hi.

  Rory : Hey.

  Jess : Hi.

  Lorelai : Hi.

  Jess : Hi.

  Luke : Hi.

  Rory : I have to get to school.

  Jess : Yeah, me too.

  Rory : Bye

  Jess : Bye. Bye.

  Lorelai : Bye.

  Rory : Bye.

  Lorelai : Bye.

  Rory : Bye.

  Luke : Bye.

  [Jess and Rory leave] 

  Luke : What the hell was that?

  Lorelai : That was episode one of Rory and Jess: The Early Years.

• Lorelai : What, did you break into our house, you got all dressed in black and pulled a Mission: Impossible?

  Jess : Actually, I came down the chimney and pulled a Santa Claus.

  Lorelai : Very funny.

  Jess : Thought a ridiculous accusation deserved a ridiculous response.

• Rory : So you did read this before.

  Jess : Yeah, about 40 times.

  Rory : I thought you said you didn't read much.

  Jess : What is much.

• Tourist : Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you. Which way is 44th?

  Rory : Oh, um, that way.

  Tourist : Great, thanks.

  Rory : I got asked directions.

  Jess : I saw.

  Rory : He took me for a native. That's so cool.

  Jess : That's very impressive. 44th's the other way.

• Jess : You didn't answer me.

  Rory : About what?

  Jess : Did you call me at all?

  Rory : No.

  Jess : Did you send me a letter?

  Rory : No.

  Jess : Postcard?

  Rory : No.

  Jess : Smoke signal?

  Rory : Stop.

  Jess : A nice fruit basket?

  Rory : Enough.

• Jess's New Girfriend : Hi.

  Jess : Hi.

  [they kiss] 

  Jess's New Girfriend : So?

  Jess : One sec.

  Jess's New Girfriend : Jess!

  Jess : Relax!

  [closes his book, turns to Luke] 

  Jess : I'm out!

  Rory : Ladies and gentlemen, an entire conversation in one word sentences.

  Dean : [walks into Luke's]  OK, don't hate me, but I already ate breakfast.

  Lorelai : See, nice, full sentences.

  Dean : What?

  Rory : Don't ruin it.

  Dean : OK...

• Clara : Is Jess your real name?

  Jess : Yes.

  Clara : Do you like it?

  Jess : It's fine.

  Clara : Would you rather be named Bill?

  Jess : No.

  Clara : Frank?

  Jess : No.

  Clara : Mike?

  Jess : No.

  Clara : Bob?

  Jess : No.

  Clara : Ed?

  Jess : Does this belong to you?

  Dean : Clara, you want a snowcone?

  Clara : Yes, will you get me a snowcone?

  Jess : Absolutely. Go stand in the middle of the street and wait for me, I'll be right back.

• Rory : I am dancing, I can not control where my glance goes, and when I can control it, my glance goes to Dean.

  Jess : You mean you can't control when you look at me, but you have to force yourself to look at him.

  [to Dean] 

  Jess : Sorry man, that's cold.

• [Jess is eating a sandwich at the dance marathon and Mrs. Kim walks up to him] 

  Mrs. Kim : Who are you?

  Jess : I'm Jess... ma'am.

• Luke : Jess, you can't just shove a girl in a closet.

  Jess : She got in voluntarily.

• Rory : Why aren't you dancing?

  Jess : I'm dancing on the inside.

• [Jess and Rory are walking to that bridge thing and Jess sits down] 

  Jess : I like this place.

  Rory : Wow. A place in Stars Hollow you actually like.

  Jess : And it has so many memories... see over there?

  [points] 

  Jess : That's where Luke pushed me in.

• Jess : Someone devil-egged my car?

• Jess : Why are you running so fast?

  Rory : Well our president says to exercise and I'm very patriotic.

• Luke : What was wrong with that place?

  Jess : It was pink.

  Luke : We can paint it.

  Jess : You mean I can paint it.

  Luke : *We* can paint it *together*

  Jess : Great, and afterwards we can hold hands and skip around.

• [Lorelai pulls a shirt from Luke's closet] 

  Lorelai : Oh my God.

  Luke : What?

  Lorelai : Jimmy Buffett?

  Luke : Put that back.

  Lorelai : You like Jimmy Buffett? He's so mellow.

  Luke : I've just been to a few shows, that's all.

  Lorelai : A few shows? Oh my God, you're a Buffetthead.

  Luke : Is that the one you want me to wear or not?

  Lorelai : Sing Margaritaville.

  Luke : No.

  Jess : That attitude's gonna lose you that toy.

  Luke : Stay outta this.

• Jess : Yeah women right, can't live with 'em can't stop them from jumping in closets... go figure.

• Jess : Hey, if you're going to get all Ward Cleaver on me, I'm gonna have to call Eddie and Lumpy and tell I'm gonna be late.

  Luke : Shut up for a minute, will ya?

• Luke : Shouldn't we give thanks first?

  Jess : Thanks for what?

  Luke : Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox infested blankets.

  Lorelai : Amen.

• Lorelai : [to Luke]  I've seen you swimming at the lake so I've seen you with your shirt off.

  Jess : Lately? 'Cause he's really let himself go.

• [turns to Rory and says sarcastically] 

  Jess : So Courtney, what about you?

• Jess : I'm just trying to support my town.

  Rory : Good, then go back to New York.

  Jess : Ooh, zinged I've been snapped.

• Jess : So we just sit on a bench or stare at our shoes.

• Rory : You have nothing better to do all day, then sit around and watch a dance marathon?

  Jess : I don't know.

  [looks at Dean and directs his question to him] 

  Jess : Do you have anything better to do all day, then sit around and watch a dance marathon?

• Rory : The sandwiches are for the dancers.

  Jess : I'm dancing on the inside.

• Jess : [to Rory]  So are we gonna sing School House rock songs?

• Luke : This is Liz's kid, Jess. Jess, this is Mia, Lorelai's boss, she owns the Independence Inn.

  Mia : Hello.

  Jess : Hmmph.

  Luke : That's "Hello, nice to meet you." in slacker.

• Jess : Romeo and Juliet had warring families and they still managed to do a little damage, you know?

  Luke : Well, as soon as I catch you in a pair of tights, I'll get worried.

• [while playing a carnival game] 

  Clara : Jess can't throw.

  Jess : I can, too.

  Clara : You missed every time.

  Jess : I can't concentrate with your annoying midget voice yammering on and on. It's like having Stuart Little shoved in my ear.

• Dean : I gotta place an order.

  Jess : Talk into the clown.

  Dean : I am.

• Luke : I didn't kick you out, you got yourself kicked out.

  Jess : Nice spin, you should work for Bush!

• Luke : Oh, really? Hanging socks on doors - that's your idea of funny?

  Jess : Depending on the sock design, could be hilarious.

• Rory : Let's just play it cool.

  Jess : Hey, I'm Frank at the Sands.

  Rory : That's cool.

• Jess : Excuse me Edgar Bergin, I think I'd like Charlie McCarthy to answer now.

• Jess : You're having your vertical "From Here To Eternity" moment right in front of the super glue.

• Luke : Wait, you need keys.

  Jess : No I don't.

  [leaves] 

  Luke : I so don't wanna know why.

• [Jimmy's girlfriend's daughter, Lily, likes to read under tables and in closets] 

  Jess : She do that a lot?

  Jimmy : All the time.

  Jess : You ever find it a little weird?

  Jimmy : All the time.