CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2000–2015)
William Petersen: CSI Dr. Gil Grissom, Gil Grissom
Photos
Quotes
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Greg Sanders : All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
Gil Grissom : All play and no work makes Greg an UNEMPLOYED boy.
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Warrick Brown : Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
Gil Grissom : The winner?
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Catherine Willows : We're mid-case. Why do we have to do this now?
Gil Grissom : Well, unless I get these evaluations in, I'll be written up.
Catherine Willows : My goals... all right, for starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to cut my triples down to 10 instead of the usual 20, and I would love to find a reliable babysitter so I could have myself some kind of a personal life.
Gil Grissom : You don't have a personal life?
Catherine Willows : Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months.
Gil Grissom : How can I help?
[Her eyes widen]
Gil Grissom : You. Advance, I mean.
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[Grissom admits to a mistake]
Gil Grissom : What?
Nick Stokes : Well, it's just that most people don't admit to being wrong.
Gil Grissom : I'm wrong all the time. It's how I get to "right".
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[Looking for clues in a messy trailer]
Nick Stokes : People are pigs.
Gil Grissom : Don't insult the pigs, Nick. They're actually very clean.
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Greg Sanders : I, am a genius.
Warrick Brown : Let me guess, you ran the DNA and got a hit?
Greg Sanders : No.
Gil Grissom : You ran the DNA and something distinctive came up?
Greg Sanders : No.
Warrick Brown : You rolled out of bed and managed to dress yourself?
Greg Sanders : No.
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Gil Grissom : I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes : And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders : Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes : What have you been doing all day?
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Catherine Willows : You know how you're always pushing that holy trinity stuff?
Gil Grissom : Father, Son and Holy Ghost?
Catherine Willows : Victim, suspect, crime scene.
Gil Grissom : That one, huh?
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Gil Grissom : So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?
Greg Sanders : Weird, ha?
Gil Grissom : Well, I race cockroaches!
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Gil Grissom : Sometimes I can be a little thoughtless.
Catherine Willows : I wouldn't say that. Not just any guy would walk a girl to the morgue.
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Gil Grissom : I can't tell whether he's brilliant or nuts.
Captain Jim Brass : Sound familiar?
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Nick Stokes : There's a sucker born every minute.
Gil Grissom : Yeah, and they all come to Vegas.
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Captain Jim Brass : Hey, look what I found: a knife with blood on it.
Gil Grissom : Hey, look what I found: dead guy.
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[Grissom walks by the lab where Greg is playing music]
Gil Grissom : Hey, Sanders, no punk rock.
Greg Sanders : What about Black Flag?
Gil Grissom : Are you nuts?
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Catherine Willows : Never doubt. Never look back. That's how I live my life.
Gil Grissom : I admire that.
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Sara Sidle : Clothing, $85. Earrings, $30. Latte, $4. Getting away with murder...
Gil Grissom : Priceless.
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Gil Grissom : Did you hear the one about the cop and the monkey who go into a bar?
Catherine Willows : I'm not in the mood.
Gil Grissom : Neither was the monkey.
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[after telling Grissom something that Grissom already knows]
Greg Sanders : I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom : That would impress me.
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[identifying an insect at a crime scene]
Gil Grissom : Dermastidae masculatus.
Sara Sidle : That's Latin for "You're hiding a dead body."
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Gil Grissom : [to Hodges] So you're saying our killer had metal balls?
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Gil Grissom : I tend not to believe people; they lie. The evidence never lies.
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Catherine Willows : What kind of perverse game are you playing here, Gil?
Gil Grissom : I'm not a pervert.
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Gil Grissom : Are we paying you by the word?
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Gil Grissom : No victim can ever say we didn't try.
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Grissom : "The evil men do always lives after them. The good is often interred with their bones."
Warrick Brown : Shakespeare?
Grissom : [nods] Julius Caesar.
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Warrick Brown : Was that a confession?
Gil Grissom : I think a plea of insanity.
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Captain Jim Brass : What are you doing after work?
Gil Grissom : More work.
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Gil Grissom : My bugs are my babies, my children.
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Gil Grissom : Where's your enthusiasm?
Greg Sanders : Whenever I find a match in here, my world gets a little smaller. Out there I felt large.
Gil Grissom : Out there means a pay cut.
Greg Sanders : I'm not about the money.
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Gil Grissom : What you do on your time is your business. What you do on my time is my business.
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Gil Grissom : Amazing how the sight of blood can clear a room.
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Dr. Al Robbins : I'll know more later.
Gil Grissom : You always tell me that.
Dr. Al Robbins : Yes, I do.
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Gil Grissom : The rich are just as depraved as the poor.
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Gil Grissom : I'm sorry, you look lost
Sheriff Rory Atwater : I've been calling your cell.
Gil Grissom : We get bad reception here in CSI. Listen, if this is about dinner, I'm free next week. I'll be having the fish.
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Gil Grissom : There is always a clue.
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Gil Grissom : Ok, we're going off the board tonight.
Sara Sidle : Off the board?
Catherine Willows : Fish. The ones that got away.
Sara Sidle : Oh. I missed that one.
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[Sara storms in, obviously angry]
Sara Sidle : You weren't in your office.
Gil Grissom : And good morning to you too, Miss Sidle.
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[after Gil Grissom lights up a pickle in the lab]
Gil Grissom : You know this is how I cooked my hot dogs in college.
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Captain Jim Brass : Our friend Tony just checked into the hotel. Didn't even unpack his bags.
Grissom : He made enemies fast.
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Gil Grissom : Maestro, what's the deal with our floater?
[shouts over the music]
Gil Grissom : Professor! What's up with our floater?
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Catherine Willows : How old were you when your father died?
Gil Grissom : Nine.
Catherine Willows : Little guy.
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Dr. Al Robbins : He's been pretty worked over. How many teeth did you find at the crime scene?
Grissom : Two.
Dr. Al Robbins : He's missing six.
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[From a Channel 5 UK promo trailer]
Gil Grissom : I'm Doctor Gil Grissom and this much I know physical evidence can not be wrong.
[Image changes to Cathrine Willows]
Catherine Willows : I'm CSI Cathrine Willows and this much I know on this job you realise people are capable of anything.
[Image changes to Warrick Brown]
Warrick Brown : I'm CSI Warrick Brown and this much I know science can explain everything except luck and love.
[Image changes to Horation Caine]
Horatio Caine : I'm Horatio Caine and this much I know at CSI Miami we never close.
[Image changes to Mac Taylor]
Mac Taylor : I'm CSI Mac Taylor and this much I know you can never escape the incarceration of personal loss.
[Image changes to Stella Bonasera]
Stella Bonasera : I'm Detective Stella Bonasera and this much I know some days you're the dog, but some days you're the hydrant.
