All Over the Guy (2001)
Adam Goldberg: Brett Miles Sanford
Photos
Quotes
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[discussing the bad dates Brett's set Eli up on]
Brett Miles Sanford : Look I know it didn't go all so, you know, that well last time with... Richard, was it?
Eli Wyckoff : Rita! From UPS. She was a woman!
Brett Miles Sanford : Whatever, she was still gay. That's your problem, you're so picky.
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[discussing Eli's bad date with Tom the previous night]
Eli Wyckoff : He kept saying, "You do the math," even when it made no sense sense. What a turn-off.
Brett Miles Sanford : What's the turn-on? According to your mother you haven't had a hard-on since she first took you to see THE NUTCRACKER at the Jewish Community Center in first grade.
Eli Wyckoff : Stop talking to my mother about my sex life.
Brett Miles Sanford : What sex life?
Eli Wyckoff : I have one!
Brett Miles Sanford : Uh huh, right.
[makes jerking off motions]
Eli Wyckoff : Ok, y'know, it counts. I spent 10 years learning which buttons to push, now I just have to look at myself and I cum.
Brett Miles Sanford : Eww.