Harry Anderson's Hello Sucker (1986 TV Movie)

Harry Anderson: Self

Quotes 

• Harry : This is what I love about this country: I took their money. I didn't have to say please or nothing. Just got finished spitting in her drink. I tore it up, I burned it up, I fucked it up real good. I called him a dildo. I ignored him completely. Then I gave them their money back. Then for no apparent reason, they gave the money back to me! I love this country.

• Harry : A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place.

• Harry : You know I don't know much about this world, but most of what I do know I learned from the fellow who tossed the lady, the gent and the spot. He taught me If you can't laugh at yourself, then you've never seen what you look like sleeping. He taught me When you are betting on a sure thing, when it's money from home, when you are certain that you cannot lose, because you have your ace planted firmly in the hole. That friends is the time that you want to save cab fare because the idea is to keep an open mind but not so open that your brains fall out. He taught me that fellow in the battered fedora He taught me That respect is something you give to get and that trust is something you have in yourself. But mainly I guess I learned that you never eat at a place called Moms. You never play cards with a guy named Pops, and most importantly that a fool and his money were lucky together in the first place.

• Harry : Like the suit? It was a surprise present from my wife. It was draped over the chair in the bedroom when I got home.

• Harry : You! If that is your real name.

• [repeated line] 

  Harry : We're doing...a money trick!

• Harry : Turk Pipkin! Your 1975 Dodge Dart is parked illegally and is about to be towed.

  Turk : Wait a minute. I don't own a car. I don't even know how to drive.

• Harry : I hold here a genuine Moroccan leather wallet, made from a genuine Moroccan.

• Harry : It's like my old man used to say: You've got to get up pretty early in the morning, so why don't you go to bed now.

• Harry : I guess the question I'm asked most often is how did I get started with all this and whenever I'm asked that question I always tell this story, and you can believe it because it is a true story, although I am a pathological liar...but not really.

• Harry : Hey, I'm on a roll! That's why there's butter on my pants! (Audience boos) Hey, I did not go out looking for you people, okay?