Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Josh Lucas: Jake Perry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake : Honey, just cuz I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid.

• Jake : [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses]  Can I help you?

  Melanie Carmichael : Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.

  Jake : You're shittin' me, right?

  Melanie Carmichael : I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not "shitting" you.

• Melanie Carmichael : Hi honey! Looking good! How's the family?

  Jake : Cut the shit! Where's my stuff?

  Melanie Carmichael : Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?

  Jake : The kind that don't live here! Now I'm gonna ask you one last time, where is the hide-a-key?

  Melanie Carmichael : I had the sweetest talk with Wade's mama about her tractor.

  Jake : Nice to see you got your accent back.

  Melanie Carmichael : Oh, I stubbled across a few things today.

  Jake : Holy shit, what happened to the stove? Oh and where are them little magnets I had over here huh? What the hell is this? Chick food?

  Melanie Carmichael : Light beer. Less calories. I tried to pick out a new bed but have you been to the Sit and Sleep lately? Yuck. I suppose I'll just have to order something from New York.

  Jake : Whatever blows your dress up darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.

  Melanie Carmichael : Oh but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as our money? Just a guess, but I'm thinking the words "joint checking" are flashing into your head right now?

  Jake : How much did you take?

  Melanie Carmichael : All of it!

  Jake : Son of a bitch!

• Jake : You show up here, after seven years, without so much as a "Hey there, Jake, remember me... your wife!" Or a, "Hi honey, lookin' good. How's the family?"

  Melanie Carmichael : You expect me to tell you look good? What, did they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

• Melanie Carmichael : [of Bryant the dog]  Can he swim?

  Jake : Doesn't look like it.

• Jake : Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?

• Wade : [breaking up Melanie and Jake's kiss in the rain]  What the hell are you two tryin' to do... get yourselves killed?

  Melanie Carmichael : What seems to be the trouble, officer?

  Wade : I'm here to bring you in, young lady!

  Jake : What did she do this time?

  Wade : Well, the way I hear it... seems she run out on a perfectly good cake!

• Jake : The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.

• Stella : You know for someone whose been holding onto something for so long, you're pretty quick to let it go.

  Jake : I can't control her, any more than I can control the weather.

• Jake : [after looking at divorce papers]  I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.

• Jake : Anybody think of anything in here that, uh, might bother Bobby Ray?

  Wade : Uh, Clinton's breath.

  Jake : You still the same Bobby Ray from last night?

  Bobby Ray : Last time I checked, yeah.

  Jake : [puts arm on shoulder]  Well, then, let me buy you a drink.

  Bobby Ray : Well, you're really not my type, I mean...

  [laughter] 

• Jake : C'mon, I wanna show you something.

  Melanie Carmichael : I can't.

  Jake : Can't? Or won't?

  Melanie Carmichael : Both.

  Jake : The girl I knew used to be fearless.

  Melanie Carmichael : The girl you knew didn't have a life.

  Jake : Guess you better get on with it then.

• Melanie Carmichael : And don't even pretend like you missed me.

  Jake : Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.

• Melanie Carmichael : [gets up to leave]  Jake, I can't do this.

  Jake : [grabs her arm so she faces him]  I know.

  [they kiss] 

  Jake : [eventually pulling away]  Go home, Mel.

• Wade : The law is the law and she has done nothing wrong.

  Jake : I supposed shoplifting steaks from Winn Dixie's okay?

  Melanie Carmichael : Oh, Oh! I took 'em back and you know it!

  Jake : What about that incident of vandalism in the stockyard... totally her!

  Melanie Carmichael : Like I could tip a cow... by myself!

  Jake : Wade, isn't there some outstanding warrant for whoever drove your mama's tractor into the fishing pond?

  Melanie Carmichael : [horrified realizing what he meant]  OH!

• Jake : [seeing Andrew walking up to the Carmichael house where Bobby Ray is currently at]  You, uh, you here to see Bobby Ray?

• Jake : You can't have roots and wings.

• Jake : I needed to make somethin' of myself.

  Melanie Carmichael : About done?