Fatty Drives the Bus (1999)
Ed Furman: Mr. Zodsworth
Quotes
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Mrs. Zodsworth : Oh... our beautiful home.
Mr. Zodsworth : I remember when all you could see was barley, and giant lizards roamed the earth.
Mrs. Zodsworth : That wasn't here. That was somewhere else.
Mr. Zodsworth : [checks his watch] Let's go to the city.
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Mr. Zodsworth : First thing you know, you're getting off a bus. Then the next thing, you're eating rice out of a human skull.
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Mr. Zodsworth : It's almost like we stumbled into some kinda mashed potato convention.
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Molly : [outside Wrigley Field] Do they play baseball here?
Satan : Yes.
Sam : Can I go on the field today?
Satan : I'm sorry, no.
Lana : What year was it built?
Satan : Uh, 19
[mumble mumble]
Satan : .
Bud : Is there a bathroom here?
Satan : Around the corner to the left - watch your butt.
Martin : Is there a game today?
Satan : There are 14 games today, all 28 major league teams will be in action, none of it will be taking place in this building.
Mamie : Do you have an emery board?
Satan : Yes.
[he pulls an emery board out of his shirt pocket]
Chuck : Do you prefer couches to armchairs?
Satan : Depends on what I'm doing. If I'm lounging with a book, I might.
Mr. Zodsworth : [while still aboard the bus] Didn't you once have a lizard?
Satan : Yes, and his name was 'Bubbles.'
Bridget : Yeah, do the Cubs need a new ballgirl?
Satan : I don't care.
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Mr. Zodsworth : Are squirrels rapists?
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Mr. Zodsworth : Did you take that head out of the freezer?
Mrs. Zodsworth : Would you forget about that head?
Mr. Zodsworth : [rubs his forehead, then smacks it and thinks] Did you take that head out of the freezer?
Mrs. Zodsworth : Would you forget about that head?