Phoenix Nights (2001–2002)

Bernard Wrigley: Dodgy Eric

Quotes 

• [talking about the inflatable Penis] 

  Jerry St Clair : We're not having that.

  Brian Potter : You're damn right Jerry, we're not having that go on take it back.

  Dodgy Eric : But Brian...

  Brian Potter : It's a family fun day man, there's kiddies running around. They can't go jumping up and down on a love length.

• Dodgy Eric : [about the Bucking Bronco]  I'll give you a week's free trial while I get your table fixed, then she's got to go to the European Finals in Dusseldorf.

  Brian Potter : Dusseldorf? Oh, good. You can take "das fruit machine" back with you.

• [Dougie Hayes has delivered a giant inflatable penis] 

  Dodgy Eric : Well what do you think?

  Brian Potter : It's not a bouncy castle.

  Dodgy Eric : You never said a castle.

  Brian Potter : I said I wanted an inflatable.

  Dodgy Eric : It is an inflatable.

  Brian Potter : Inflatable filth.

• [discussing what to do with an Giant Inflatable Penis] 

  Young Kenny : Can't we disguise it?

  Brian Potter : Yeah we can, we'll put a wool hat on it and say it's you.

  Dodgy Eric : It's not what it looks Brian.

  Brian Potter : Not what it looks. Not what it looks. It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else, it's not happening.