Sealab 2021 (2000–2005)

Ellis Henican: Derek 'Stormy' Waters

Quotes 

• [Multiple Quinns and Stormys are caught in a subspace loop] 

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Hey Quinns, check it out! We built a time machine! Stormy Two is gonna' go back in time, and, uh, fix it all... up, there. Fix it...

  Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn : You don't have the brain capacity to build a time machine.

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : You're right. So I guess it's not so much a time machine... as it is a dodge ball connon! Say hello to my little friend...

  [the dodge ball cannon knocks all of the Quinns off of the screen] 

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Eat it! Eat it! Get some! Get some!

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : I said it's dodgeball time, bitch.

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?

  Debbie DuPree : Humans! You have a human brain.

  Sparks : But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!

  Marco : We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.

  Captain Murphy : Yeah, but... nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.

  Debbie DuPree : Uh, uh. Dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : They're gonna' hunt me? For sport?

  Marco : That's why we have to CRUSH mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.

• Old Gus : The penalty for a robot harming a human will be one thousand years frozen in carbonite!

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : A thousand years frozen in carbonite? It'll be so cold!

  Captain Murphy : My nipples are hard just thinking about it.

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Oh my God! Giant squid! Giant squid!

  Frenchman : Ah yes, loligo giganticus, with a razor sharp that can tear steel as easily as I tear a croissant. But at heart, he is a peaceful giant.

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Cast off this taint, and become taintless!

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : I am Stormy, SMOKER OF BITCHES!

• Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn : That shockwave created a subspace fracture.

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Take that, subspace!

  Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn : Shut up.

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : No.

• Captain Murphy : It's time for the "I Hate Marco Show!"

  Radio Singers : I hate Marco, hate Marco, hate Marco, and his mailbox head!

  Captain Murphy : Go ahead caller, tell me why you hate Marco.

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Hi, Howlin' Mad: long time listener, first time caller. The reason I hate Marco is... he's a mailbox head?

  Captain Murphy : Oh yeah, real original. Sit on it, Potsie!

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Hey, little dying guy! You like swimming?

  Griff : Afraid not, sir. My incredibly rare disease makes it far too dangerous...

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : That's great! 'Cause we're gonna be doing lots of swimming!

• Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn : Why do you think they call me Dr. Quinn?

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Um, I thought it was just a nickname. Y'know like Dr. Dre..."Eastsiiiide!"

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : T.V. God, I want porno bloopers!

• Debbie DuPree : I wouldn't have guessed he was Jewish.

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : He also knows karate!

• [repeated line] 

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Smoke that bitch!

• Derek 'Stormy' Waters : If we light ourselves on fire we could go anywhere!

  [dumps gasoline all over himself and lights himself on fire] 

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Ahhhh! It burns! It burns! Oh my God! Burning! Burning! Burning! Burn!

• [Virjay has been killed and the crew is about to be eaten by monsters] 

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Fling Virjay's corspe out there!

  Captain Bellerophon "Tornado" Shanks : That ain't Christian!

  Derek 'Stormy' Waters : Neither was Virjay!

  [short pause; everybody laughs]