Sealab 2021 (2000–2005)

Chris Ward: Hesh Hipplewhite, Various, Ad Pitcher #1, Griff, Hesh Hippleby, Yes Brains

Quotes 

• [Hesh is forced to be a caddy for Captain Murphy] 

  Hesh : Golf sucks. Hesh wants to go to the Nineteenth Hole. Hesh wants jalapeno poppers. Hesh wants poppers.

• Hesh : I'm gonna pull your legs off!

• Hesh : [playing with a stuffed bear and giraffe]  "Noooo! We can't! It's forbidden!" Come on! Hump her! Make a bearaffe!... or a giraffeabear.

• Hesh : [rapping]  You're one year older / One year wiser / Rock 'n' roll star, king, czar, and a kaiser / A room full of friends / A mouth full of cake / Every present is for you, and it feels pretty great / You're the man of the hour, the V.I.P. / You get the first slice of the P-I-E / So blow out your candles and make a wish / Put a smile on, 'cuz it's your birthday, bitch!

• Hesh : [rapping]  Yo yo yo let me see those hands people! Huh huh huh come on y'all you can feel the beat! Remember way back when I was smoking crack, you were at the corner, selling that ass and I took that rusty pipe and gave your head that gash and I took all your cash and spent it on smack? I feel bad about that. Not really. But yeah. That and the time I made you shave your cat. Oh and the time I said your ass looked fat. And when I played the back nine when you were taking a nap. As a matter of fact I been a down right jerk. Stealing cash from your purse but that ain't the worst. Can't believe I'm the guy who filled your eye with shit. We went to ER and I hit on the nurse. Now we're here at the church to make it offical. I love you bitch you're a motherfucking...

• Hesh : Hesh wants married sex!

• Hesh : Hey, Hesh wants some sex!