Ali G Indahouse (2002)
Sacha Baron Cohen: Ali G, Borat
Photos
Quotes
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Ali G : BELONG? That's a very sexist way to talk about these bitches!
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Ali G : Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver 'Eath posse, innit? Come on - let's stab him!
Jezzy F : No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast.
Ali G : All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...
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David Carlton : [to Ali] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament?
Ali G : What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks.
David Carlton : That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick?
Ali G : Yes.
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David Carlton : Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?
Ali G : Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole...
David Carlton : Really? When?
Ali G : Eight years and three months ago.
David Carlton : Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...?
Ali G : Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger...
[starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carlton's fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch]
Ali G : Everything down there's still working, though! Oh, yes...
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Ali G : You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: keep it real!
Cabinet M.P. : That's three words!
Ali G : Don't be a spannah, it ain't a real word. It's short for innit, innit?
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Ali G : R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz?
Cabinet M.P. : Restecp?
Ali G : Yes, Restecp. 'Owz anyone out there meant to restecp each otha? If you lot in 'ere, don't even start restecpa-ing one another.
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Ali G : If you iz watching dis in da UK, you may remember me from da telly. If you iz in Belgium... you iz living in a shit hole.
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Ali G : And I put it to YOU... that you sucked off a 'orse.
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David Carlton : As of 12:00 all rizla's will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. As for the health service, marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as ichy scrot. Furthermore I am a bell end...
Ali G : HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!
David Carlton : Prime minister, I really can't be expected to...
Prime Minister : Go on now, David!
David Carlton : [Looking annoyed] I like to take it up the batty. Yes, I do. It feel really nice and is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks, honest. Ask me mum!
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Ali G : A man more eviler than Skeletor.
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Ali G : He iz a criminal! And not even da good type wot deals drugs and does drive bys.
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Ali G : Dat's no prozzie, dat's me ho!
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Ali G : I'm not Ali A, not Ali B, Ali C, Ali D, Ali E, Ali F... but... Ali G!
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Ali G : Talk to the hand, 'cos the face ain't listening.
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Ali G : Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.
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Ali G : We is gunna hire the A-team.
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[repeated line]
Ali G : Wicked!
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[repeated line]
Ali G : Batty boy!
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Borat : You are a cocksucker.