The Sketch Show (2001–2003)
Karen Taylor: Various Characters, Various
Photos
Quotes
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[a couple deciding on where to go on a holiday]
Man : All right, I'll stick a pin on this map and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go.
[sticks pin]
Woman : Siberia.
Man : Too cold.
[sticks pin]
Woman : Sahara Desert.
Man : Okay new rule, it's got to be somewhere that can sustain human life.
[sticks pin]
Woman : The Indian Ocean.
Man : Okay, it's got to be a place where we can stand on.
[sticks pin]
Woman : Canada.
Man : We've been there.
[sticks pin]
Woman : China.
Man : No beaches.
[sticks pin]
Woman : Portugal
Man : Don't fancy it.
[sticks pin]
Woman : France.
Man : Too predictable. Can I be honest? I want to go to Hawaii.
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Woman : [walks up to counter] Hello. Can I have a can of lemonade, please?
Various Roles : [writing on a piece of paper] Over there in the fridge. Help yourself!
Woman : And a cup of tea, please.
Various Roles : Teabags over there, cup's there, water there, milk there!
Woman : And a slice of cake?
Various Roles : Eggs in the fridge, flour and sugar in the cupboard!
Woman : [getting annoyed] And a ham sandwich, please!
Various Roles : Pig out back, bolt gun behind door!
Woman : I want to see the manager!
Woman : Office there, door there!
[Tim exits the office]
Woman : Are you the manager?
Man : Badge there, title there!
Woman : [pointing at Jim] Counter there, rudeness there!
Man : [gives Jim a termination letter] P45 there, Exit there
Various Roles : [gives Tim an envelope] Too late! Envelope here, resignation there!
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Woman : I said quilt, not kilt.