Old School (2003)
Will Ferrell: Frank
Photos
Quotes
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Mitch : I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie : Why in front of the kid? With the F-ing? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him. "Earmuffs". Then you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch", whatever you want.
Frank : Cock. Balls.
Beanie : I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
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Frank : [after funneling a beer] Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!
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Frank : I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student : A big day? Doing what?
Frank : Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
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Therapist : Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.
Frank : Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?
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Peppers : She's a beauty, ain't she?
Frank : Yeah, what kind of gun is this?
Peppers : It's a tranquilizer gun. If any of these little fuckers decide to freak out on the kids, I get to take them down. Ain't that right?
[yank's on the mule's reigns]
Peppers : Oh, what? That's what I thought. Shut up.
Frank : [Frank cocks the gun]
Peppers : Hey, hey. Careful with that. That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.
Frank : Cool.
Peppers : Yeah, it is cool. They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from...
[Frank shoots himself in the neck with the dart]
Peppers : YES! That's awesome!
Frank : What?
Peppers : You just took one in the jugular, man.
Frank : What? I did.
[feeling his neck]
Peppers : YES!
Frank : Oh, my God. Is this bad? Is this bad?
Peppers : You better pull that shit out, man. That shit is not cool.
Frank : Wait. What? Pull what out?
Peppers : You got a fucking dart in your neck, man.
Frank : [laughing] You're... you're crazy, man. I like you, but you're crazy.
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Dean Pritchard : Ladies and gentleman, please welcome, the co-host of CNN's Crossfire, famed political consultant, the raging Cajun, Mr. James Carville.
James Carville : Thank you, Thank you, Dean Pritchard. It's an honor and a pleasure to be here, sir.
Dean Pritchard : Topic number one. What is your position on the role of government in supporting innovation in the field of biotechnology?
James Carville : Well, Dean, I'm, I'm glad that you asked that question...
Frank : Uhhh... Actually, I'd like to jump in and take that one, Jimmy, If you don't mind.
James Carville : Have at it, Hoss.
Frank : [Frank takes a drink of water, makes a funny face and grunts] Recent research has shown that empirical evidence for globalization of corporate innovation is very limited and as a corollary the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader, it's important for America to provide systematic research grants for our scientists. I believe strongly there will always be a need for us to have a well-articulated innovation policy with emphasis on human resource development. Thank you.
[Frank grunts, makes a face and goes limp; audience applauds]
Frank : What happened? I blacked out
Dean Pritchard : That was interesting. ha ha. Thank you very much. And, uh, your rebuttal? Mr. Carville.
James Carville : Oh... It... We... have no response. That was perfect.
Frank : That's the way you do it! That's the way you debate!
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Frank : SNOOP! SNOOP-A-LOOP!
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Frank : We're going streaking!
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Marissa : [after seeing Frank running naked along the streets, she slows down her car] Frank, what are you doing?
Frank : [out of breath] We're... We're going streaking! We're going up the quad and to the gymnasium.
Marissa : Who is?
Frank : Th... W... There's more coming.
Marissa : Frank, get in the car.
Frank : But... everybody's doing it.
Marissa : Frank! Now!
Frank : [still out of breath] Ok.
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Frank : [Crying] You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy.
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Frank : You know I was thinking we could go back home... have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.
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Frank : That's how you do it. That's how you debate.
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Frank : Honey, you think KFC is still open?
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Frank : In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds and pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski.
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Frank : No it's cool, man, bring your green hat!
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Woman : [holding a grocery bag] What's going on?
Frank : You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by tonight. Okay, sweetie.
[reaches into the grocery bag and takes out cheese balls]
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Frank : I see Blue, He looks glorious.
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Frank : So what do you guys like better? Nurse or cheerleader? Oh, hi Nicole. Have fun at the wedding?
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Marissa : Just as long as you promise to take it easy.
Frank : What do you mean?
Marissa : You know exactly what I mean. You've come a long way since Frank the Tank and we don't want him coming back, do we?
Frank : Honey, Frank the Tank is not coming back, OK? That part of me is over. Water under the bridge. I promise.
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Frank : All we are is dust in the wind...
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Frank : Dear Mitch, if you're holding this letter you already know. The house has been boarded up. The doors. The windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank
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Frank : [offering a bread-maker as a gift] What do you think, Max? It's got three speeds.
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Frank : Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever.
Beanie : Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP.
Frank : What?
Beanie : You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single.
Frank : I'm not single.
Beanie : She's 30 yards away, you're single now.
Frank : Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Beanie : Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?
Beanie : There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, "Look at the baby."
Mitch Martin : She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go.
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Frank : Actually, I'd like to jump in and take that one, Jimmy, if you don't mind.
James Carville : Have at it, hoss.
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Frank : Blue's over there. But he's wasted.
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Jerry : What sort of actual association will you have with the university?
Mitch Martin : Who are these people?
Frank : I don't know.
Beanie : Well, legally speaking, there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.
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Frank : Don't worry. The pledges will clean it up.
