Clone High (2002–2003)

Michael McDonald: Gandhi

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gandhi : If there's one thing Mahatma Gandhi stand for, its revenge.

• Abe : I'll sleep when I die...

  Joan of Arc : You'll die if you don't sleep.

  Gandhi : Abe, remember how excited I was to see the movie "American Pie" that I didn't sleep the night before? And remember that scene where the guy has sex with the pie? Well, I don't. Because I fell asleep in the theatre.

  [dramatic pause] 

  Abe : Why don't you just rent it?

  [Gandhi runs out of the room] 

• Gandhi : "Black and Tan"! High five, racial pride!

  George Washington Carver : I don't like those movies, Mahatma. They're full of bad dialogue, contrived plot twists and they perpetuate racial stereotypes.

  [throws a ball of paper towards the garbage, misses] 

• Gandhi : Abe, I just polled everyone in the girls' bathroom - you're ahead!

  Abe : I knew the poll - did you say I was winning?

  Gandhi : Straight up, man. Numbers don't lie.

  [the Number 4 runs across the library] 

  The Number 4 : I'm the number five!

• Mr. Butlertron : I'm sorry, Wesley, you have ADD.

  Gandhi : Am I... dying?

  Mr. Butlertron : No, you have ADD - Attention deficit disorder, also you have ADHD, its hyperactive cousin.

• JFK : Hey, you! Half Pint, Junior Mint, Pipsqueak, Tiny Tim, Yardstick, Snack Pack, Wee Fella, Brown Leprechaun.

  Gandhi : Are you talking to me?

• Gandhi : [pants fall down] 

  [casually] 

  Gandhi : Good thing there was nobody there to see that.

  Van Gogh : Oh yes... no-one indeed.

• Gandhi : Oh my God. It's not a kid in a costume, it's a living thing.

  Gandhi , Genghis : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

  Gandhi : Oh my God. He was genetically engineered with a zipper.

  Gandhi , Genghis : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

  Gandhi : Oh my God. Who's driving the van?

  Gandhi , Genghis : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

• Gandhi : Now that my testicles have descended, I can't wait for some serious dry humping.

• Gandhi : Abe, I like my humping like I like my martini's... drrrrrrrrrrrrrry.

• Gandhi : Shut up!

  JFK : You shut up!

  Gandhi : Nooo... you shut up!

  JFK : [gasping]  Did you just tell me to shut up?

  Gandhi : I did.

  JFK : Shut up!

• JFK : Forget it, kid. No dry porking for you.

  Gandhi : (forces himself to undergo a JFK-like transformation) Fowah suppah I want a pawtty plattah.

  JFK : Wait a minute! Throw some 'er's and 'uh's in there. What's your hurry?

• Gandhi : That's a nice stun gun Joan.

  [Joan zaps him] 

  Joan of Arc : Teen crisis hotline. We're here because we care.

• Gandhi : Snowflake Jake, this holiday's mascot, will come to my house and bring me spices upon spices.

  Joan of Arc : Oh joyous day.

• Abe : Welcome back, Joan.

  Gandhi : [to Joan]  Hey, you got breasts.

  Joan of Arc : Geez, Abe. You grew, like, a foot.

  Gandhi : You grew, like, a pair of breasts.

  Abe : Luckily, the extra height doesn't feel that awkward.

  Abe : [Abe runs into a tree, falls down, then pops up]  I'm up!

  Joan of Arc : I wish I'd seen you more over the summer, but I was at camp.

  Gandhi : Was it Breast Camp?

  Joan of Arc : Okay, you get one more!

• Gandhi : Rhythm is everywhere!