Bad Santa (2003)

Bernie Mac: Gin

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Willie has just passed out] 

  Gin : Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.

  Marcus : What do you mean, get him outta here?

  Gin : Take him to the car.

  Marcus : In case you didn't notice I'm a motherfucking dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand hmm?

  Gin : That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause you're handicapped. You're all the same.

  Marcus : Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-fucking-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?

  Gin : Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!

  Marcus : Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.

  Gin : What'd you call me thigh-high?

  Marcus : I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!

  Gin : I could stick you up my ass, small fry.

  Marcus : Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?

  Gin : You got some lip on you midget.

  Marcus : Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!

• Bob Chipeska : I just can't help it. There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy.

  Gin : Well sure. Santa fucking someone in the ass...

• Gin : Santa likes to fuck fat chicks in the ass.

• Marcus : How much?

  Gin : Half.

  Willie : No fucking way...

  Marcus : Just back off, Will, I got this. I got this! Okay, 30%. That's three of us. 30%, that's fair.

  Gin : Half.

  Marcus : I meant 33%.

  Gin : I meant half.

  Marcus : And 1/3.

  Gin : Half.

  Marcus : 35%.

  Gin : Half.

  Marcus : 40%.

  Gin : Half.

  Marcus : 42%.

  Gin : [Mouthing]  Half.

  Marcus : Um... 45%.

  Gin : [Pretends to think about it]  Half.

  Marcus : 48%?

  Gin : [In British accent]  Half.

  Marcus : 49%!

  Gin : Half.

  Willie : Well, what's one point?

• Gin : Sweet Jews for Jesus!

• Gin : We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchendise you take, I get to look at and cherry pick.

  Marcus : No. Money is one thing but you ain't getting the sh...

  Gin : This ain't no Chinese menu, jagoff! I tell YOU how it's gonna be. This is pricks fix!

  [Exits] 

  Willie : Pricks fix?

  Marcus : Ah, he's a fucking moron.

  Willie : Oh really? Is that how you got the upper hand?

  Marcus : Fuck you.

  Willie : Negotiating?

  Marcus : You don't like it? Next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey.

  Willie : Yeah and I can get another midget too.

  Marcus : Yeah? Where? You see us hanging off of fucking trees like fucking crab apples?

• Gin : Man is a sexual being.

• Gin : You know what I see when I look at you? America's got a sad future ahead of it.

• Bob Chipeska : [about Willie]  Can you maybe find out something on this guy?

  Gin : Fuck yeah.

• Gin : [after seeing a kid has placed a game in his pants]  What's this?

  Shoplifter : I was going to pay for it.

  Gin : Wrong answer.