- Mike Paddock: You saved our arses back there Northey. Where'd you get the shooter?
- Northey: Oh, it's my father's.
- Mike Paddock: Aren't they illegal now?
- Northey: It's for sporting purposes.
- Mike Paddock: Right. And tell me again, which sport is it that uses a semi-automatic weapon?
- Northey: Golf. He's a very aggressive golfer.
- Ben Kinnear: Photocopier's busted.
- Julie Bale: Still?
- Ben Kinnear: Yeah. I have to walk round the office describing my arse to everybody.
- Gavin Clack: Welcome back to The Million Dollar Question, the show where ordinary Australians can win up to twenty thousand dollars.
- Pendlebury: You guys have made a fair bit of progress. I'll be quite happy to put this one to bed.
- Ben Kinnear: I'll bet you fuckin' will.
- Doug Gillespie: That's enough! He didn't burn down an entire house full of evidence.
- Ben Kinnear: He wouldn't know where to start.
- Ted Pratt: In hospital you get to catch up on your reading.
- [holds up newspapers]
- Mike Paddock: Those three disasters have been taken completely out of context!
- Mike Paddock: So why'd this bloke top himself?
- Ben Kinnear: They found some photos in the car. Let's just say the "respected magistrate" liked to... uh...
- Mike Paddock: What?
- Ben Kinnear: I'm trying to think of a legal term that has... you know, a sexual double-meaning?
- Mike Paddock: 'Perform acts with underage prostitutes'?
- Ben Kinnear: Is that a legal term?
- Mike Paddock: Dunno, but it's the exact phrase I put on my Psychological Test under 'ambitions'.
- [pause]
- Mike Paddock: There's someone behind me, isn't there? And it's the worst possible person it could be, isn't it?