Scary Tales: The Return of Mr. Longfellow (2003 Video) User Reviews

Much growth since the first movie.

[Alien Redrum · 7/10 · 28 September 2005]

I enjoyed the first Scary Tales, even though it had some flaws (most noticeably the pacing of the movie and the acting).

However, I was very pleasantly surprised with Scary Tales: The Return of Mr. Longfellow. The sequel is strides above the first, and it also shows Hoffman's growth as both a writer and director.

One thing of notice is the movie gets very dark at times (in tone), but is reeled back in to keep it light. I'm hoping to one day see a movie where Hoffman lets it go and puts out a darker themed movie.

Sometimes you see movies put out from lower-budgeted directors and the continuing movies show no learning curve, but that is not the case here.

Can't wait for the next movie.

Horror's not usually my thing...

[debby7813 · 7/10 · 6 May 2005]

I borrowed this from a friend who has a small role in the film. He said it is going to be released later this year.

I'm not a very big horror fan, and haven't really watched many films that are considered independent.

That in mind, I did enjoy this. Not as much as the original Scary Tales (I borrowed both movies), because this one is so fast paced. The first one took it's time going from one story to the other. This one is literally one joke after the other. Plus, it's a little bloodier than I usually like to watch (the original only had a few bloody scenes).

If you decide to get this, the third story is the best one. Joe Estevez is really good in that one.

The best thing about these movies is that they aren't as scary as the title implies. Although, if campy or over-the-top horror movies aren't your thing, I would avoid.

7.5 out of ten.

Slightly downgraded anthology entry

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 4/10 · 24 February 2018]

On the run from the law, the deranged story-teller working at a used-car lot finds his talents put to use telling a buyer about the various models he's interested in.

The Good Stor(ies): Dennis Frye vs. The Zombies-Working in a convenience store, a lowly worker tries to make a relationship work with his new girlfriend only to have his high-school bully continually interrupt his attempts. When he accidentally unleashes a zombie plague through the store, he tries to protect her anyway he can. This was a rather enjoyable and highly goofy entry. There's a lot of fun to be had with their slightly overlong courtship which has some silly moments, and the idea of the zombie apocalypse being carried out only through the means of a gas station is quite appropriately played for laughs more than anything. It plays the loosest connection to the concept of the anthology which makes it quite an odd placement here but overall manages to be one of the more entertaining.

The Bad Stor(ies): Charlie's Demons-Traveling to his therapists' office, a troubled man joins a group session in a run-down cabin ou in the woods before finally getting aggravated about the whole affair. As a strange series of events begins plaguing the group, they soon realize that someone or something might be hunting them down and must try to get away alive. This one had a ton of potential and really could've been a fun indie slasher effort but falls slightly short of the mark. The whole setup of the patients out in the isolated cabin and being picked off with the creepy groundskeeper and the doctor in charge of the whole session which has a lot to like with the way it starts knocking everyone off in the later half. The problem is the simplistic setup that doesn't make any sense and the lengthy wrap-up that really takes a lot of the suspense out of the story. This one really could've been a lot more fun than it is.

7:23-Stuck in the middle of the road, a lone traveler braving the elements finds himself forced into staying the night at a seemingly deserted hotel run by a creepy manager. Waking up in the morning to find his car missing and no means of transportation out, he slowly comes to realize what's really staying at the hotel with him. Frankly, this one really doesn't have much going for it. There's so little happening here with the focus either on him driving along the desert or wandering the halls of the hotel that this one feels insanely dull by comparison with an overlong running time building up a boring atmosphere. There's no real suspense about the situation and it doesn't generate any kind of action at all even with a few creepy images thrown in to pass this off as a horror entry. Beyond that, this one doesn't really work and has an even more tenuous grip on the concept of the anthology.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Violence, Brief Nudity and a mild sex scene.

Now HERE'S how to make an indie!

[pittfilmmakers · 8/10 · 10 November 2004]

My husband and I purchased this at Screamfest in Florida, not sure of what to expect. The girl who talked us into buying was very friendly and oh, so cute (but it must have been cold in that outfit).

The movie was WAAAAY past expectations! For a low budget, this sure looked good - sound, sets, effects (even decent computer graphics). We bought this one with the original, and recommend that one as well.

Joe Estevez was outstanding. The final segment with him in it was actually pretty creepy, and the others were a riot!

Along with these movies, we purchased about 6 from the same show, and, so far, NONE of them matched the quality of production.

I think the director said they've changed distributors or companies a few times, or something.

One question - WHY isn't this in stores?

8 out of 10

Great horror flick

[dave243 · 9/10 · 21 December 2004]

I'm someone who likes horror movies because they're funny, not scary.

This movie was made for me.

There's 3 stories with a story that connects them, like Creepshow, but this movie was a lot more fun.

The part at the car lot which links everything together was hilarious. There's this character named Wesley who looks like a crazy version of Kurt Russel in Used Cars. He wears make-up, a terrible plaid suit and chomps on mini cigars (and the scenery).

The first story is about a guy who visits a cabin in the woods. It turns out he's heading for group therapy. People start getting killed, and the gore effects are actually pretty good - including a cringing baseball bat to the forehead. Brutal.

The second "Scary Tale" was funny. This guy has a box of Acme Brand chocolate bars which turns some gang members called the zombies into zombies. It's really, really silly and fast paced.

The final tale has awesome acting. It reminded me of the Twilight Zone. This guy with stolen money almost has a car accident and ends up at this hotel he can't leave. Joe Estevez is fantastic (I bought a copy which was pre-autographed by him and the director from a cult movie store in New Jersey).

Loved this movie! I haven't listened to the commentary, but I can't wait.

I must admit, this was one of the first "underground movies" I've ever seen, and to be honest, it looks a lot better than the stuff that's on TV and in chain movie stores.

At least someone's still making fun horror movies. Aside from Shaun of the Dead, everything that's straight to video, or in theaters, has no personality. This movie's subtle about being over the top (which is really hard to do). A must find! IT makes fun of all sorts of clichés - although, it took my neighbor 3 viewings to figure out it wasn't serious. He loves it now too.

Just previewed the two pack...

[scarytalesthemovie · 10/10 · 24 May 2005]

Our film review website was sent a screener of the "Scary Tales Collection 2 pack", which is set for major release later this year.

Having read some reviews for both films, I was interested in seeing what each entry in this low budget series had to offer.

To my surprise, both films moved at a quick pace and each offered their form of "entertainment". Now, why is entertainment in quotation marks?

Well, these little low budget features were oddities. For starters, despite being irrational with their narratives, they seem to intentionally tread familiar ground only to push a cliché so far before completely turning it in your face. Of course, the entertaining factor is the oddness of the production.

SCARY TALES: THE RETURN OF MR. LONGFELLOW

A review by Justin Dyer

5-24-2005

Part 2 in the series, captioned "The Return of Mr. Longfellow" - is a welcome return to campy horror. Instead of taking itself seriously, the film wisely plays itself for clichés and camp factor. Unlike other moderately budgeted independent features, this film doesn't try to "push the envelope", so to speak, in terms of brutality or tasteless imagery. To call this exploitation would be inane. This is clearly a case of a campy film suitable for all ages of the horror spectrum.

While the blood flows nicely and the special effects are well above par for a film in this budgetary range - the unusual array of stories create an arsenal of creativity rarely seen on this production level.

In closing, while this is by no means a perfect film, it does have something for every horror fan. Like most anthology features, it features three tales within a connective tissue - or the "wrap-a-round story" - and which you like best probably depends on which genre of horror you prefer.

It's funny - from all the reviews I'd skimmed through, certain critics were eager to trash the first story while praising the third - and vice-versa. However, the fact none can decide which tale is best would probably best describe how I feel. There is no good or bad tale. All are entertaining. Which you enjoy the most or dislike is clearly dependent on your taste in horror - and, isn't that what a horror anthology is supposed to be? Different?

Camp Value - 10 out of 10 Production Value - 8 out of 10 Acting - 6 out of 10 Screenplay - 8 out of 10 Entertainment - Value 10 out of 10

Overall

10 out of 10

Highly recommended

"Scary Tales 2" is a must have for any B-movie enthusiast

[spacetater · 10/10 · 21 May 2005]

"Scary Tales 2" is a must have for any B-movie enthusiast and fans of anthology horror films. The "Tales" are very clever and leave the viewer wanting more. Yes, we want more "Scary Tales". The acting is above par with Joe Estevez giving the best performance of his career. The photography is excellent with Hoffman showing some real talent in his film-making skills. Entertaining and fun …everything a movie like this should be. Kooky and silly with just the right splash of meaning, the writers show great creativity and humor. This movie is not perfect but it may very well be the perfect b-flick. So on that rating it gets all 10 of my stars.

better than it has any right to be...

[arcanaentertainment · 8/10 · 4 May 2005]

a friend of mine is a critic, and received an advance screener of this. we decided to watch together.

the film centers around an over-the-top character named mistour long fellow, who, tells stories. this is a ridiculous set-up for the stories themselves, but at least it was breezy and refreshing.

the first story, albeit short, is to the point - with mediocre acting but very well-done gore effects.

the second story is about a fellow who works in a convenience store that comes across a mystical box of chocolate bars. they turn the antagonists into zombies - and, hence, there is a final confrontation that is both breezy and entertaining.

the last story has martin sheen's dopleganger brother as the manager of a hotel. his performance is both undeniably creepy and silly. there is no gore to speak of in this story, but it has great acting throughout and nice usage of locations, creating some good atmosphere.

all in all, a nice little film that seems to have fallen under the radar. definitely worth a look for anthology fans.

it also features the man who played the "maniac cop" and the lady who was the killer in "sleepaway camp".

really really funny

[beproductions2005 · 10/10 · 20 February 2005]

watched this at a showing at darx xmas in ohio. joe estevez and the director were there to introduce it. lloyd kaufman was in the theater too.

there was lots of loud music outside the room and it was hard to concentrate on the movie. so, my wife and i purchased a copy and took it home.

when we watched it again it was even better than the first time. there was another movie that showed after this one, but i wont even get into that.

scary tales 2 is about a crook who visits a car dealership. when he wants to buy a car he has to listen to stories about the old owners.

each segment is different. one's a gory horror story, another one has zombies, the last one is like the twilight zone. all are played with the emphasis on comedy instead of horror, and it keeps it fun.

this movie has really good effects and acting all around. joe estevez steals the show.

definitely worth finding if you like comedy horror or trilogy films

loved it!

[sjpeery · 9/10 · 6 March 2005]

I thought this was a very entertaining film!I feel that i must write about this independent film because it should be given attention as it is quite a good movie. I enjoyed watching it and i love the song where the menu is.. Darkest Knight by beyond the shattered mirror. I will buy this movie when it is sold, and i will recommend it to my friends. It's much better then some of the movies i have seen in the theaters. Joel Wynkoop, (longfellow) is a very effective actor, i have seen him in other films and i always find entertaining and in very interesting parts. The way this movie is woven together is very well done , enter-twining 3 different stories with fairly good acting through out it. Good placement of music and ambiance to set the feel to this movie. I look forward to more from this director. Will there be a scary tales 3?

As a Felissa Rose fan I wasn't disappointed...listen to the commentary!

[joshmorgan · 9/10 · 8 February 2005]

I've followed Felissa Rose's career for quite some time now. "Sleepaway Camp" is about my favorite horror flick of all time. Over the years, she's done some no budget dreck. However, flicks like "Horror" and "Satan's Playground" show she's coming back.

In the middle of her slump, she starred in this low (almost no) budget feature. I assumed the worst, as it never seemed to be released. I finally found a copy at the Chiller con in New Jersey...dumped in the middle of a table with about five thousand other terrible-looking titles.

So, I popped it in - expecting the worst.

What I got was a surprise.

A movie with so many tone shifts - "scary" (which it never really is) to "funny" (yeah, I chuckled a few times) to "bizarre" back to "silly" and I guess to "scary" again.

Ummm. I'm not sure what the filmmakers were thinking - but, as a change of pace, it kind of worked on me. Unfortunately, Ms. Rose was left with a supporting role in the second segment (the film is an anthology of short stories), and doesn't have much to do. On the bright side, Joe Estevez is a hoot. The big chinned guy from Tango and Cash is also in this too, but like Felissa Rose, doesn't have much to do.

The acting ranges from bad to terrible to great. Joe Estevez is outstanding. The guy who played Longfellow hilarious. The other guy in the noisy suit really fantastic. Other performances don't fare too well...until I heard the commentary where I realized the actors thought they were in a scary film, but the directors new it was a joke. I guess this theory forces you to laugh at them - which is what the filmmakers intended (I hope). The "scariest" thing about these tales is the fact they're so clichéd - and done so on purpose, one would assume.

As for everything else... The score is decent. Effects surprisingly good. Sound excellent. Sets minimal. Wardrobe blah (did everyone in the first segment wear white, or was it my imagination?). The stories, well, so bizarre at times...they kind of work, despite their base core being overly recycled.

I guess, in conclusion, as far as low budget cinema is concerned, this is high up in terms of production values. It's fun, for sure. Never really slow. I can't say it's great - but I can say it's different, and better than most stuff collecting dust on the video store shelves. The movie really works because no one camps it up. The "Scary Tales" title is more like "Scary Movie", whereas the tales are only scary to the person in the film hearing them and a joke to the audience.

In the end, I guess I'm glad I bought this thing. I'd try to find the original, but that may take another 2 years (and there's no Felissa!).

As for Felissa, here's to Return to Sleepaway Camp!

Low Budget - High Quality

[djbenz_uk · 9/10 · 12 August 2005]

Michael Hoffman has taken a small pile of cash and made and incredibly entertaining anthology movie. Don't be fooled by the meagre funding of this movie, and make time to see it - you will not be disappointed! The entire film is incredibly well written, and somehow Hoffman has managed to assemble a cast of credible actors which lift this movie above the typical low-budget production. If you are a fan on anthology movies like Creepshow, Tales from the Crypt, Tales from the Darkside etc, then you will really enjoy Scary Tales 2. Three stories and a wraparound tale which all have a unique twist in the tail. What are you waiting for? Get onto the website and grab a copy today!

Vol 2 Carries on and Adds to the Fun

[bwana-beast · 8/10 · 29 August 2005]

SCARY TALES 2: THE RETURN OF MR. LONGFELLOW is a nice follow-up to the initial entry in the series, relating the titular character's continuing psychotic urges to regale unwary passersby with homicidal tales of terror. Individual segments are uniformly well plotted, following up on some points left over from the first anthology, but not so much as to render the stories incoherent to someone who has not yet viewed the first. "Charlie's Demons" is a nice twist on the multiple personality theme; "Dennis Frye vs the Zombies" carries on the humorous antics of the lovable loser in a tale that actually occurs prior to the first SCARY TALES; "7:23", although the most predictable of the stories, is also the best, featuring a nice turn by genre veteran Joe Estevez in a remarkably subdued, but effective, performance. And the wraparound segment introduces some new characters to bolster future editions. Robert Z'Dar shows up to add some ironic emphasis to the finale. SCARY TALES 3 is promised at the end, and it will be fun to see how the ubiquitous Mr. Longfellow is revived; although with a sequel that includes a prequel to the original, one wonders if his insanity is expanding or if entropy has begun. Good stuff...all should consider supporting these independent efforts - DVD is available at scarytalesonline.com - Buy, watch and enjoy.