The Lion King 1½ (2004 Video)

Jerry Stiller: Uncle Max

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mom : Something's different about Timon.

  Uncle Max : You think?

  Uncle Max : [shouting]  He's wearing a dress!

• Mom : Uncle Max, have you seen Timon?

  Uncle Max : No, I haven't... . and what a day it's been. No fractures, no lacerations, concussions, contusions of any sort. As a matter of fact there's no sign of Timon's handy-work anywhere!

• Uncle Max : Scurry, sniff... . flinch! Scurry, sniff... . flinch!

• Uncle Max : Timon the sentry? Why don't you save the hyenas the trouble and kill me now? JUST KILL ME NOW!

  Timon : [to Mom]  He has a point.

  Mom : All you have to do is watch for hyenas and yell if you see one. Look at Iron Joe.

  Iron Joe : [camera pans over to Iron Joe]  DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK AWAY! SOMEBODY'S GONNA GUARD US! SOMEBODY'S GONNA PROTECT US!

  [sobs uncontrollably] 

  Timon : [camera pans over to Timon]  Well, now I'm convinced... .

• Mom : Max, Timon's out there chasing metaphors! I gotta go find him!

  Uncle Max : ARE YOU NUTS?

  Mom : [dryly, to Rafiki]  Nice to have a supportive family, isn't it?

• Uncle Max : We're food for other animals! A moveable feast, feared by no-one and eaten by all!

  Timon : But when they die, they become the grass, and we eat the grass, right?

  Uncle Max : Not exactly. We can't digest grass. We're grass intolerant.

• Uncle Max : Meerkat! It's what's for dinner!

• Uncle Max : Now what do we do if we see a hyena?

  Timon : Scream, "MOMMY!"

• Timon : [terrified]  Hy... hy... hy...

  Shenzi : Well "Hi" to you too!

  Shenzi : [smacks Timon, who goes rolling down a hill and bumps into Uncle Max] 

  Uncle Max : This no time for horseplay Timon! You're suppose to be up there looking out for...

  [sees the hyenas approaching] 

  Uncle Max : HYENAS!

• Uncle Max : I flinched, when I should have scurried.

• Uncle Max : That's right, Mister! Because the world out there is fraught, FRAUGHT I tell you!

  [shakes Timon] 

  Timon : Oh, boy. It's the fraught fest.

  Uncle Max : They're gonna rip us limb from limb!

  Timon : [clapping]  Bravo, Uncle Max! Way'ta sell it to the cheap seats!

• Uncle Max : Appluad now sonny boy, but try clapping when you don't have any hands.